I'm already gone
by lizzieten
Summary: Sam's at stanford when he gets some news that will change his future. Will he have the courage to go back to his family when times get tough. Will John learn how to forgive when his youngest son needs him. Limp Sam. Limp Dean
1. Chapter 1

I'm already gone

Sam Winchester smiled as the love of his life leaned back and laughed at a comment he had just made. He couldn't believe he was lucky enough to find a girl like Jessica. She catches Sam staring and gives him a funny look.

"Do I have food on my mouth?" Jessica asked as she raised her napkin to her mouth.

"No," Sam said chuckling "it's just that I love the sound of your laugh" Jessica blushed and Sam leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Sam asked as they stood from the table and headed towards the restaurants exit. Jessica smiled and grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers together.

"More than life it"Jessica replied"and I don't mind hearing it every time you say it."

"That's good because I never get tired of saying something that's the truth" Sam said smiling, he had never thought he would be as happy as he was now. Though he missed his dad and Dean, he didn't regret the relationship he had with Jessica.

Sam frowned as he thought about brother; Dean hadn't called in a month, whereas he used to call every day. Sam hoped with all his being that Dean was safe and most of important of all, still alive. He couldn't bear it if something happened to Dean and he wasn't around to help.

"What's wrong Sam?" Jessica asked noting the troubled look on her lovers face.

"Nothing that can't be dealt with later" Sam said pushing his morbid thoughts to the back of his head. He still hadn't told her a whole lot about his family, he never intended too. Someone so innocent didn't need to know about what his family did for a living.

"Are you positive?" Jessica asked suspiciously, she knew he was lying but figured he would tell her whenever he felt like it.

"Of course I am" Sam insisted "the only thing on my mind is the LSATS" he smiled at the concerned look on Jessica's face. It was like her to get worried about him over the simplest things. She smiled back at him and took her thumb and rubbed the back of his hand.

"You will blow everyone away, with the LSATS; you don't have anything to worry about." She stated confidently. She firmly believed the truth in her statement. Sam was the smartest person she ever knew, so it only goes that he would do well.

Upon reaching the car, Sam unlocked the car then opened the door for Jessica to get in. Before closing the door, Sam leaned down and pressed another kiss to Jessica's lips.

As he straightened a sudden bolt of pure agony struck through his head and he was knocked to his knees by the intensity of the pain. He moaned, grasping at his head with his hands, and then throwing up violently all over the sidewalk. He was in so much pain he didn't hear Jessica climb back out of the car and kneel beside him.

"Sam," her gentle voice prodded "is it another migraine." Sam was barely able to nod, the movement sending violent pain coursing through him. He had been getting these headaches for a few months now, he figured it was from stress. Now he wasn't so sure.

Jessica lightly brushed the hair away from his eyes as Sam threw up once more.

"Poor baby," She murmured she hated seeing Sam like this, she wondered if she could convince Sam to go to the hospital now. There was something about these headaches that were not normal.

"Maybe you ought to go to the hospital now?" Jessica mentioned even though it seemed the migraine was starting to loosen its grip on Sam now.

"No," Sam murmured softly, struggling to get back to his feet. "It's just stress, I don't need a hospital."

"You don't have that much to stress this bad over" Jessica pointed out, pointing out the flaw in his point.

"Trust me," Sam said "I will always find something to stress about." Sam made his way back to the car.

"Do you think you can drive?, my head is still hurting me,"

"Of course I can, I'll take you home and then I can have Brady run me home" Jessica said as she moved over to the driver's seat. Whatever was going on with Sam she hoped it got straightened out shortly. She didn't like to see Sam in pain.

Ten minutes later they were back at Sam's apartment, and Sam was glad he felt like he was going to be sick again and he didn't want to get sick in front of Jess.

"Do you need help?" Jessica asked softly while watching Sam stumble out of the car.

"I'll be okay, just need to get some rest" Sam replied as he gently gave Jessica a hug and a kiss on her cheek.

Once in his room, Sam watched as Brady left to take Jessica home. He wished he could have been the one to take her home. He hated the night had turned out like this but with Winchester luck he should have figured this is how it ended. He sighed Winchester luck seemed to always get the best of him, no matter where he was. While he was sitting there contemplating his bad luck, his head gave another horrendously painful throb, that sent him running to the bathroom.

Moaning as he threw up into the toilet, he wondered if Jessica wasn't right about it being the time to go to the hospital. He moaned and continued to heave until it felt like he was spewing out his insides.

Finally finished, Sam stood; weakly he reached out and pressed his hand against the wall for support. This was starting to really annoy him, he hated being sick with a passion. Just as he started to head back to the living room, his head gave another throb but this time Sam's world went black, as he collapsed from the sheer agony.

TBC

AN

Should I continue? Please read and review and let me know what you think. All grammar mistakes are my own so please overlook. Liz


	2. Chapter 2

I'm already gone

Thanks for the reviews everyone

Chapter two:

Sam slowly came to on the bathroom floor. His head was still hurting but it was more from hitting it than the migraine that was slowly starting to fade away. Sam was grateful that it was going away. He didn't think he would be able to handle anymore agony at this time.

Reaching out, Sam grabbed a hold of the bathroom sink and slowly pulled himself to his feet. At first he was a little dizzy and thought he was going to fall back down, but luckily he managed to stay on his feet. He was beginning to wonder if Jessica wasn't right about going to the hospital. She was right when she had said he didn't have that much to stress about, other than the absent brother that never seemed to answer his phone anymore. Sam didn't have any stress over worrying about what could be going on with his older brother.

Noticing a small trace of blood running down the side of his neck; Sam raised his hand and touched right behind his ear. He felt a patch of sticky wet hair, and frowned. He hated cleaning blood out of his hair. Muttering to himself about how much bleeding sucks, Sam grabbed a washcloth off of the rack and pressed it against the wound. His night had just gotten even better. He wished Dean was here. He would probably make some kind of crack about how Sam was being a sissy when it came to cleaning up the blood. If Dean were here, he would drag Sam to the hospital with no questions asked, and no regards to what you want to do. Sam missed that about his brother. he wondered what Dean was up to right now, that was so important that he couldn't call Sam back. He was probably out with some random chick, and couldn't or rather wouldn't want to call back when he was busy. Of course communication was a two way street. Sam was doing everything he could to stay in contact, but it was starting to look like Dean didn't want to stay in contact. Let's not get him started on John. His heart still hurt thinking about the words that had spewed out of both of their mouths right before he left. Sam couldn't believe his father would kick him out of the family just because he wanted to attend college. Well, Sam just didn't share John's obsession with hunting, he wanted to do something with his life. If John couldn't accept that then maybe they were better off the way they were now. He just hoped that one day John would be able to forgive him, even if he never accepted him back into the family again.

Having made up his mind to call Dean once again for what seemed like the millionth time. He slowly headed out of the bathroom and over to the couch where he had threw his jacket. Digging into the side pocket he grabbed his phone. Once the phone was in hand, he quickly dialed Dean's number. Holding it to his ear, Sam instinctively knew he wasn't going to answer again. Yet he still kept listening despite the ringing threatening to start the migraine again. When it switched over to voicemail, Sam didn't immediately hang up, he listened to his brothers voice before hanging up. Not bothering to leave a message since he knew it would just be ignored or immediately erased.

Hearing the door open, Sam looked up. Brady was back from taking Jessica home.

"Thanks for taking Jess. Home for me" he said quietly as any noise was beginning to bother him again.

"No, problem man" Brady said crossing the room to sit in a chair across from Sam. "We have to talk about you going to the hospital." Sam started to protest but Brady held his hand up, stopping him short.

"These headaches aren't cause by stress, we both know that." Sam sighed and looked down at the carpet. He could feel another migraine coming on. He could already feel the bile rising in his stomach and he swallowed hard to keep it down.

"Is there something bothering you?" Brady asked concerned when there was no response from his friend.

"You mean besides the obvious" Sam said "of course, the migraines are bothering me, but Dean won't even call me back."

"Maybe he's just busy and can't answer the phone" Brady suggested. Sam shook his head no.

"Dean has always answered before no matter what he was doing. Because he knows I will worry if he don't" Suddenly Sam moaned, raising his hands to place his palms against his forehead. _Why is this happening to me_ Sam thought _why must I have to go through this agony. _

"Sam?" Brady asked getting up from where he was sitting and kneeling in front of Sam. "Are you okay? Is it another migraine?" Sam was barely able to nod, before he jumped to his feet and ran to the bathroom, and slamming the door shut.

Brady stared at the closed door. _Enough is enough Sam is going to the hospital whether or not he wants too. _He thought before walking over to stand right outside the door. He was worried about his friend. He knew there was something wrong but he was afraid to guess what.

"You're going to the ER as soon as you get out" Brady called "and don't even think about trying to get out of it, because it won't work" he was answered by a round of harsh heave from within the bathroom.

Sam moaned he hated getting sick, but at least this time it wasn't with people all around him. When he felt like he was done, Sam, slowly started to stand up, only to come crashing back down and hitting his head rather roughly on the sink.

Upon hearing the loud crash coming from the bathroom, Brady shoved his way inside to find his friend unconscious on the floor. In a matter of seconds Brady had his cell phone in hand and was dialing 911. After the call was finished Brady kneeled down beside Sam. Noticing the blood running from Sam's temple and down the side of his face, Brady grabbed a towel. As he pressed the towel to the injury, Sam began to convulse violently on the floor.

A/n

Sorry about another cliffhanger but I wanted to get this chapter done so I can get it posted as soon as possible, I don't care too much for it, but let me know what you think. Thanks a bunch for all the favorites and alerts and reviews. I appreciate it more than you can know! Thanks for taking the time to review. And I will get started on the next chapter and have it posted soon.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm already Gone

Chapter three

AN

Thanks for all the reviews, never expected that many with this story. I appreciate it. Dean will be coming into the next chapter. The idea for that steamed from reading a comment made in the John Winchesters Journal book. All I have to say is please do not kill me.

Jessica Moore sat nervously in the emergency room waiting area. Brady had called her right after he had called an ambulance for Sam. He had informed her that Sam had collapsed and had a seizure before the medics had arrived. That terrified her more than anything because seizures indicated that there was something wrong with the brain.

Brady sat down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Sam, will be alright" He said gently, though he wasn't so sure himself. He had witnessed Sam seizing and it had scared him out of his mind.

"Maybe we should have convinced him to come to the hospital sooner" Jessica spoke softly as tears came to her eyes. She couldn't stand the thought of Sam waking up alone and hurting.

"You know how stubborn Sam can be" Brady said "besides I'm not sure coming in earlier would have changed anything or not." Jessica looked away from him and around the room. For a Friday night the place wasn't that busy, there was only one other family besides her and Brady. She hoped that family got good news.

"I hope we find something out soon" Jessica murmured "I really hate waiting."

"I wonder if we should try and contact his family." Brady asked "surely they would want to know that Sam's in the hospital."

"Only if you know where to look" Jessica replied "they move around a lot so it would be pretty hard to find them."

"His brother's number is still in his phone. Why not just call?" Brady suggested.

"Because you know as well as I do, Dean won't pick up?" Jessica said taking an instant disliking to a man she didn't even know. She didn't like anyone who caused Sam hurt and Dean had been doing plenty of that lately.

"I wonder why he just stopped calling?" she wondered out loud. "Sam depends on those calls to get him through the day."

"It's a shame his own family can disown him for wanting a higher education." Brady said, in truth he would never understand just why the Winchesters felt they had to abandon Sam for doing what he wanted to with his own life.

Jessica stood up and began pacing. Words couldn't describe how nervous and worried she was. She was terrified that there was something horribly wrong with the man she loved with all her heart. She didn't know what she would do if there was.

As if sensing his friend's thoughts, Brady stood and gently guided Jessica back into her seat.

"He's going to be okay, Jess," he said "whatever is going on with him they can fix it." He watched as tears began streaming from Jessica's eyes.

"You don't know that" Jessica finally broke down, the stress from waiting getting to her. "We have no way of knowing that he will be okay or not."

"We have to believe he will" Brady said "fear will make us crazy if we let it." He gently pulled Jessica into his arms.

"I know" Jessica mumbled "But I'm just so worried about Sam, it's already making me crazy."

"I am too" Brady said gently, wishing desperately that they could find out something.

"How long is this going to take?" Jessica asked as if reading Brady's mind.

"I'm sure they probably have to run a bunch of tests to find out why he had the seizure in the first place." He replied as he allowed his mind to drift off to when he had first met Sam last year. They had just started their freshman year; classes had been in session for at least a couple of months. Jessica and Brady had just entered the cafeteria, when they had spotted Sam sitting in a corner table by himself. They had been watching for a couple of days now, and he had always sat by himself. So Brady and Jessica decided they were going to sit with him. Brady chuckled at the memory, they had scared the kid half to death just coming over and sitting with him. It took a while but eventually Sam had come out of his shell and had become friends with them. It didn't wasn't much longer after that, that Sam and Jessica had started dating.

Brady sighed and shook his head as if to get rid of the memory, and he wondered how the two elder Winchesters could treat their youngest so cruelly. Sam was a great kid; he wondered how they could have missed out on that fact. Sighing again, Brady stood and stretched he didn't know how thinking about someone he didn't even know could get him so angry.

Jessica stood again and continued pacing. Brady couldn't blame her. All this waiting was pretty nerve wracking.

"You're going to make yourself by worrying so much" Brady commented, knowing full well, she would ignore him and keep pacing anyways. Jessica rolled her eyes and continued with her stroll on the tiles.

Ten minutes later a doctor exited through the ER doors and came towards the waiting area.

"Family of Samuel Winchester?" He called out. Jessica and Brady looked at each other and stood.

"I'm Dr. Collins" He said introducing himself as he reached them and shook both their hands.

"We're friends of Sam's, his family is out of town at the moment" Brady said.

"How is he?" Jessica jumped in desperate to know how Sam was doing.

"He had another seizure upon arriving in the ER, violent enough that it caused brief cardiac arrest, but we were able to get his heart beating in a normal pattern again." Dr. Collins said. "Sam is now on anti seizure meds, so those shouldn't be a problem anymore. He has a concussion but we don't expect any complications from that. It's the test results we are worried about." Jessica frowned and looked at Brady something was telling her this wasn't going to be very good.

"Do you know where Samuel's family is?" Dr. Collins asked concerned that they weren't already in the waiting area.

"They move a lot so it's kind of hard to pin them to anyone place" Brady explained wishing the doctor would just go on and tell them what was going on. They had done enough waiting for a lifetime.

"I suggest you find them" Dr. Collins stated firmly, letting the two friends know just how dire the situation was.

"What's going on with Sam?" Jessica demanded tired of beating around the bush, she just wanted to know how bad Sam really was. D. Collins sighed there would be no easy way to say this.

"When we did an x-ray of Sam's head, we discovered a large mass growing on the frontal lobe. Sam has a massive brain tumor growing, and I am afraid it's cancerous."


	4. Chapter 4

I'm already gone

Chapter four

Dean yawned and stretched reaching for the knife he kept under his pillow. Feeling the hilt, Dean wrapped his hand around it and slowly pulled it out from its hiding place. He was unsure exactly what had awoken him, except that he had this feeling of unease in his stomach, like he knew something was wrong but he didn't know what. This feeling usually only occurred when his little brother was hurting so it really didn't make sense to be getting it now, cause as far as Dean knew Sam was fine. Thinking of Sam made him feel a little guilty for ignoring his calls. Dean knew Sam was having a hard time adjusting to life away from his family. Dean knew Sam depended on his calls and was in fact probably worrying about him now. But Dean still felt hurt that Sam had chosen Stanford over protecting his family. The way Dean saw it if Dean was going to have to live without Sam. Then Sam could learn to live without him.

Hearing a not so quiet snort coming from the bed beside him; Dean grabbed the spare pillow and flung it into his father's face. John startled awake instantly, reaching for a gun he kept beside him on the nightstand.

"Dean, what's your problem?" John growled when he has ascertained that there was no danger and it had in fact been his son that had awaken him.

"You were snoring" Dean said a smirk on his face.

"What are you doing awake at this hour anyways?" John asked glancing at the clock that read 2.30 am.

"I don't know" Dean replied "I just have this feeling that something's wrong and I can't place it."

John looked at his eldest son, even in the little light the room got from the street light; John could see Mary in him. He was very proud of Dean even though he never said it. Dean had become a much better hunter than John had ever expected. Too bad Sam was nothing like Dean. He could have been just as good if not better than Dean. John sighed he missed Sam he really did but the boy needed to learn how to follow orders. John quite distinctly remembered ordering Sam not walk out the door and yet he did. So it was Sam's own fault he couldn't come back to the family. You couldn't just leave this job because you wanted a higher education. Demons waited for no one.

"Dad" Dean called watching as John seemed to get lost in his thoughts.

"Sorry, got distracted" John muttered.

"Sammy?" Dean asked and John nodded.

"I'm not talking to him anymore" Dean stated out of nowhere. John looked at him startled he had never thought he would hear those words coming out of Dean's mouth.

Seeing the look on his fathers face, Dean smirked before saying:

"If Sam's too good to help us hunt down the thing that killed Mom, then why should I help adjust to being away from home." John sighed before climbing out of bed. He had never wanted this for his boys but life never asked what he wanted. Family needed to stick together, not fall apart at the seams.

"I'm going for a run, maybe I can go back to sleep when I get back" John muttered as he bent down and his pulled his boots on. Grabbing his shirt and pulling it on as he walked out the door.

Dean nodded he knew perfectly well his father wasn't very comfortable talking about Sam, not after the words that had spewed from his mouth.

Sighing, Dean crawled out of bed and headed into the bathroom to grab shower. He still had that feeling of unease in his stomach, and it made him wonder if he should go on and break his so called vow of silence and call Sam to see if everything was okay. Something was telling him not everything was all good with his brother, but at the same time Dean's stubborn streak refused to let him pick up the phone and call. It kept insisting that Sam was a grown man now he can take care of his own problems. Having made his mind up Dean headed into the bathroom.

After his shower was over, Dean headed back to bed, he had thought the shower would help but he still had the feeling that all was not well. He got back out of bed and began pacing the room. He felt like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, knowing its tail would get stepped on just not when it would.

John got back an hour later, as soon as he opened the door, he saw Dean pacing the room. He frowned Dean wasn't this antsy unless it had something to do with Sam.

AN

Sorry its so short the next chapter hopefully makes up for it. thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz


	5. Chapter 5

I'm already gone

Chapter five

At the word Cancer, Jessica's face paled; _this can't be happening_ she thought _this quack can't be serious, Sam can't have cancer. _

"How bad is it?" Brady asked placing a hand on Jessica's shoulder and squeezing gently. "Better yet what can be done about it?" Dr. Collins sighed he hated having to tell them this but they needed the truth.

"I'm sorry but the tumor is too far advanced, chemotherapy and radiation won't work. And if we try to operate, Sam won't survive the operation because it's too deeply entrenched in his brain." Dr. Collins said sadly.

Jessica promptly turned and ran for the nearest restroom. Brady watched her go before turning back to the doctor and asking.

"How long does Sam have?" he was almost afraid of finding out the answer.

"Two or three months at the most" Dr. Collins stated feeling badly for the young people who were going to soon lose their friend.

Brady felt like getting sick himself right then. He couldn't believe his best friend would be dead in a few short months.

"What really sucks is his family has no idea whatsoever that Sam's dying" Brady told Dr. Collins.

"I suggest you try and find them, no one deserves to die without their family by their side." Dr. Collins said as Jessica rejoined the group. If they noticed her red eyes they didn't say anything, neither of them could blame her for being upset. This news was hard to take at best.

"Can we see him now?" she asked softly. Dr. Collins nodded and led them down to a room at the end of hallway.

Once in the room Jessica burst into tears again at the sight of Sam lying so motionless.

"Will he have to stay here until its time to die?" Brady asked.

"No," Dr. Collins said "but I do suggest that he not go very far from the hospital."

Jessica crossed the room to the bed and gently took Sam's hand in hers. It really tore at her to know she was going to lose the love of her life. Sam's eyes opened at feeling the light touch on his hand. She leaned her in her head into the gentle touch, and he frowned when he saw her eyes were red rimmed from crying.

"Hey baby," he said softly raising his free hand and gently stroking her cheek. He hated seeing the pain in her eyes knowing it was there because of him.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered "you don't deserve to have to go through this."

"Neither do you" Jessica declared "this isn't fair, why do you get stuck with an inoperable brain tumor."

"It's life" Sam said "or should I say its Winchester luck making itself be known."

"What are you going to do about school" Brady asked finishing his conversation with the doctor and joining Jessica at Sam's bedside. Sam sighed here was a question he really didn't want to answer.

"I'm dropping out." He replied "there is no sense in me continuing classes, when I will be dead before they end."

"Which brings about another question" Jessica said "what are you going to do with the time you have left."

"I am going to find my family, and hopefully they will let me back in."

Jessica frowned the idea of a road trip in Sam's condition didn't sound like a very good idea, besides Sam's doctor said it wasn't a good idea to go too far from a hospital. She mentioned this to Sam. He shook his head.

"I'm not going to die in the hospital either; I need to make things right with my family."

"You didn't do anything wrong" Brady said "Why should you make up with your family."

"Because I said some things myself that I did not mean" Sam replied "besides they deserve to know why in a few months I won't be taking any calls."

"I'll go with you" Jessica declared "I don't want you to be alone, especially if your condition gets worse before you find them." Sam smiled at her and tugged her down for a gentle kiss before whispering in her ear.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She smiled at him and squeezed his hand "I love you too much to let you be alone."

"I can't believe you even want to go back to your family after the way they treated you" Brady said out of nowhere. Letting his opinion on the past subject be known. He was angry about the whole situation, and Sam wanting to go back to a family that clearly didn't want him; really didn't help his temper.

"They are my family" Sam said simply "their not perfect but I still love them no matter what has happened between us. Besides like I said they deserve to know about the cancer."

"Have you tried calling them again?" Brady asked his anger clear in his voice.

"I had Dr. Collins attempt to" Sam replied.

"Let me guess no reply from either your father or your brother."

"No, but they could be busy, its not that unusual, they do work you know. And one way or the other they will know everything." Sam couldn't understand why his friend was so angry about this. So what that he wanted to go back to his family because he was dying, that was his right, no one could chose for him.

"How are you going to find them" Jessica's gentle voice brought him back to the present.

"I can track their cell phones or I can call Bobby and he can tell me where they are." Sam replied yawning and feeling a little bit tired but he wasn't about to say anything he was enjoying his friends and girlfriends company.

"What are you some kind of mad genius?" Jessica asked with a small laugh. Sam smiled at the sound of it, she really should laugh more.

"No" Sam said "I'm just fairly decent with technology." Brady shook his head.

"There is still a ton I don't know about you. You could be a serial killer for all that I know about you." Sam snorted.

"Yeah, I'm not very likely to be a serial killer; it's just not my style." Jessica snorted at that.

"I would hope that it's not anybodies style."

"Obviously not the case cause there is a ton of serial killers in prison. So somebody likes that kind of thing." Brady said.

They continued talked and laughing for a few more minutes, until a nurse stuck her head through the door and informed Jessica and Brady that visiting hours were now over.

"I love you" Jessica said bending down and pressing a gentle kiss to Sam's lips.

"And you know how much I love you" he said as he watched his friends exit the room. He sighed, this was going to be the hard part telling the few friends he had that he wouldn't be around much longer. Grabbing his cell phone of the table beside the bed, Sam dialed his brother's number first; hoping against hope that he would get more then the voicemail. He held his breath as he heard the phone ring, but sighed again as it went over to voicemail instead of hanging up though Sam left a message.

"Dean, you're probably mad at me for something I'm not even aware of, but please put that behind you, I really need for you to call me back because I have some news for you and it's just better if I tell you." Hanging up, Sam had to struggle to hold in his tears. He wished he knew what he had done wrong so he could fix this. He hated not being able to talk to his brother. Sam waited for a few minutes before he tried his father's phone, only to get the same response as he got from Dean's phone.

Sighing Sam dialed the one number he knew he would get an answer from: Bobby. While waiting for Bobby to answer Sam played with the frayed edge of the blanket that was currently draping over him.

"Singer" A voice said after a few rings.

"Hey, Bobby, it's Sam" Sam said.

"Hey, how are you son?" Bobby asked surprised that Sam was calling him.

"In truth I'm not doing that great" Sam replied "I was just diagnosed with terminal cancer." He broke Bobby's heart with those words. The boy he loved like a son didn't deserve to have cancer.

"How long do you have?" Bobby asked, having a feeling it wasn't going to be an answer he liked.

"Two or three months at the most" Sam replied, he hated having to tell Bobby news like this but it had to be done.

"I'm sorry, Sam, do you want to come and stay with me until the time comes?" Bobby asked gently. He didn't want to lose Sam, not this way, this way was almost cruel. No one deserved to go out this way.

"I will but I want to find Dean and my Dad they won't answer my phone calls and I wondered if you know what was going on with them.

"As far as I know they just got off a ghost hunt in Louisville, Kentucky." Bobby said, concerned that the elder Winchesters wouldn't answer their phones. It was like John to do that to just about everybody, but not Dean. "Dean called and said they had taken care of the problem."

"So, Dean's okay?" Sam asked, feeling a bit rejected that Dean would call Bobby and not him.

"Yeah, sounded pretty good to me" Bobby said unaware of the fact that with those words he had just shattered the youngest Winchesters heart.

AN

I obviously had a lot of time on my hands this weekend. Three chapters at once. That's pretty much unprecedented for as long as I have been on fanfiction. Let me know what you think? And thanks ahead of time for the reviews! They make my day and I appreciate it. Liz


	6. Chapter 6

I'm already gone

Chapter 6

Sam had just been released from the hospital. He had been there a week getting adjusted to his anti seizure meds. He was glad that was something that had been gotten under control. He hated having seizures having experience one more before being allowed to leave. It scared him what the coming months would bring, the unendurable pain the migraines he was sure to have. But what Sam was more scared of was never seeing Dean and his dad again. Sam shook his head as if to rid himself of the morbid thoughts. He could do this; he would find his family and make things right with them.

Stepping outside the hospital doors, Sam winced as the harsh light briefly blinded him. Raising his hand he rubbed at his forehead; he could feel another headache coming on and he hoped it didn't turn into a migraine. He had to get back to his apartment and clean it out, and get everything packed. What Sam really wanted to do was just get on the road, leave Stanford in the dust.

Sam smiled when he saw Jessica who had obviously been parked by the ER entrance for a few minutes, trying to get his attention. Sam smirked he had always had the tendency to get lost in thought, which had been a reason why John had always been on his back as a teenager. He walked to the car and leaned into the open window and gave Jessica a gentle kiss on her lips before walking around the car and climbing into the passenger seat.

"Where's Brady?" Sam, asked noticing his absent friend, as he pulled his seatbelt on. Jessica frowned a moment before replying.

"I don't know, I went by your apartment and he wasn't home. I don't think he was home all night."

"Maybe he went to visit his little brother; Matt doesn't live too far from here." Sam doubted his words as he spoke them. Brady wouldn't just leave in the middle of the week. Sam didn't want to admit it but he was concerned it wasn't like Brady to say he would be in one place and not be there. Sensing as if a change in subject was needed, Jessica started talking about Sam moving to Bobby's.

"I wish we could just skip the whole packing ordeal and just leave" Sam said leaning his aching head back against the head rest.

"Why don't you?" Jessica asked "I can find Brady and we can clean out the apartment."

"Because I won't ask that of you" Sam replied "besides I have some personal items that I need to make sure get back to Dean or dad." Sam still had a few guns and knives hidden in various places and he wasn't about to admit that to Jessica. Too many questions would be asked and he didn't want to explain any of it. Sam wondered if now would be a good time to tell Jessica about who he really was. Wondered if she would still stick by his side through this whole ordeal, Sam bit his lip thoughtfully. He honestly didn't know if he should say anything or not. His heart was saying tell her everything; his mind on the other hand said not too. She may love you now but she would leave if she knew the truth. Sam didn't think he would be able to bear the rejection, he knew would follow. So he ignored his heart and stayed silent.

"Sam, you okay?" Jessica asked taking her eyes off the road for a brief second. Sam could read the worry in the sparkling blue eyes.

"I'm fine, I just have a lot on my mind" Sam said refusing to burden her with the way he was feeling. He reached over and took her free hand in his. She raised it to her mouth and kissed the back of his hand.

"I'm gonna miss this" she said softly as she pulled the car onto the shoulder and parked. "I don't know how you are being so calm about all of this." Sam watched as a few tears fell down his love's face before he reached over and wiped them away.

"I'm not calm on the inside" He said as he gently tugged the sobbing girl into his arms. He rested his cheek against her hair, as he held her tight.

"Inside I am terrified; I don't want to die; I want to find dad and Dean; I want to go out on dates with you" he whispered "I'm scared of leaving you alone and hurting" he released his darkest fear. He couldn't bear the thought of her mourning his death. Jessica sniffed and buried her face into his chest. She never wanted to let him go, but in a few months she would have to watch him die.

"I don't want you to suffer" she murmured against him "I can't stand the thought of you being in pain."

"I can deal with the pain" Sam promised "it's the not knowing if my loved ones will be okay that really bothers me." As he sat with Jessica in his arms, Sam didn't want to admit to anyone how much this was breaking his heart. Jessica really did deserve someone better than him. Someone healthy who wouldn't die anytime soon. They sat there for a few more minutes before Jessica decided she could drive without killing them. After that it only took ten minutes to reach Sam's apartment. As Jessica pulled into a parking place, Sam grabbed her hand.

"Come in with me for a little while?" he asked he really just didn't want to be alone, even if Brady was there, he wasn't the best company. Jessica nodded and as Sam got out of the car he walked over and threw and arm around her shoulders. Jessica smiled weakly, but it didn't make it to her eyes. Letting Sam clearly know she was still upset. He hated that for her, he still thought she deserved someone better.

Pushing the key into the lock, Sam turned the knob and gently pushed the door open. Stepping inside the couple was astounded at what lay before them. The apartment was covered in blood.

"Oh, my god" Sam muttered he hadn't been expecting this, it was like a scene out of a slasher movie there was so much blood. Jessica stood there speechless before running down the hallway to the restroom. Sam could hear the sounds of her vomiting in the living room. Turning as he felt a breeze, Sam went into the kitchen to find that someone or something he went through the window. No glass remained intact. As Sam turned around the corner of the counter he discovered the body of Brady and it looked like his heart was missing.

AN

Thank you Winchestersunited for giving me this idea!

so you think the hunt is going to lead John and Dean right to Sam's doorstep? keep reading and find out. I hope it wasn't too horrible for those reading. But please read and review. Your reviews make me want to work that much harder to get chapters posted sooner. Thanks a bunch Liz,


	7. Chapter 7

I'm already gone

Chapter 7

Dean Winchester sighed, he was surfing the internet for another supernatural case; be it Casper the unfriendly ghost, or the undead, it didn't matter as long as Dean got to kill something evil. He hoped he would find one soon, cause he was about to go nuts. He hated having nothing to do. As he was scrolling down a web page, an article caught his eye. A man had been found dead in his Palo Alto apartment and it looked like he had been killed by a wild dog.

_Kind of a strange place to be killed by one of those_ Dean thought _most wild dogs don't know how to use a door. Could be something for us to look into, a werewolf maybe. _He just needed a good look at the body and he would know for sure. The fact that it was also in Palo Alto caught his attention too._ Good time to check on Sammy. _

"Hey, dad, think I found us a job" Dean hollered through the restroom door; where his dad was taking a shower.

"What is it?" John asked as he started to climb out of the shower but slipped on some water. He managed to grab a hold the shower curtain and kept himself on his feet. He scowled he had always accused his boys of being clumsy, well looks like he was the person they got it from.

Hearing the racket coming from the bathroom, Dean struggled not to laugh it sounded like the shower had got the best of the almighty John Winchester.

"Possible werewolf" Dean explained as John came out of the restroom and came to stand over his shoulder. "And it's not far from Stanford."

John frowned he didn't know if having a case so close to Sam was a very good idea. Noticing Johns look, Dean rolled his eyes; the same stupid conflict was going to keep John away.

"You know you want to check on him" Dean said "it won't kill you to take this one case. It's not like we're asking to stay with him."

"I'm not the one who's worried about him" John said "I don't think it's a very good idea"

"Come on" Dean complained "you want to make sure he's safe just as much as I do."

"If we take it will you drop the whole Sam subject for a while?" John asked, not very happily, his eldest son was driving him nuts. Dean nodded, he had to know that Sam was doing okay, and hopefully the feeling he had in his stomach would go away. It was going to give him an ulcer if it doesn't disappear soon. That wouldn't be fun for Dean or John.

"Guess we can take it then, kill two birds with one stone, you can check on Sam and kill a werewolf or whatever the critter turns out to be." John walked over to his side of the room and started packing his clothes. He still felt very bitter towards his youngest, and he knew that seeing him wasn't very likely to change those feelings. He hoped Dean didn't expect him to just forgive Sam on the spot; it was going to take a good long time before he would be able to.

"Get your crap together" John ordered "I want to be on the road in fifteen minutes."

Dean rolled his eyes, as he powered off the laptop. He hated using the thing, Sam was much better at it; but since he wasn't here. John improvised and made Dean do the majority of the research after shoving the laptop into its bag. Dean went about collecting his various forms of clothing that always ended up scattered every where around the room.

"You know" John said casually as he watched Dean begin to pack. "It wouldn't hurt you to be a little bit neater" Dean snorted as he finished shoving his clothes into his duffel.

"I would die of a heart attack first. I'm not the neat freak." Dean lifted the bag to his shoulder and headed out of the room.

"How you ever manage to keep a lady in our room during a case beats me. I'm surprised you don't scare her off."

"I can keep a lady because I'm a real man" Dean snorted "Sammy on the other hand wouldn't be able too." John rolled his eyes as Dean went down a whole list of why Sam couldn't keep a woman. This was just like Dean to talk too much when he was nervous. John couldn't really blame him; it would be the first time in a little over a year since they had last seen Sam.

"Don't know why you're worrying so much" John said after having turned in the key and climbing back into the classic car.

"I'm not worried" Dean lied through his teeth, though he knew his father could see right through him. His dad was like a human lie detector so it had never done any good to lie to him in the first place.

"You're lying" John stated as he pulled out onto the highway. Dean huffed out a breath and turned to watch out the window. They drove in silence for what seemed like forever but was probably only a few minutes.

"I doubt Sam is mad at you" John said as if reading Dean's mind. "Knowing him he's going grey headed with worry over you not calling him."

Dean turned to look at John and for a moment John could see the real fear in Dean's eyes. But then the green eyes turned back to guarded.

"I quit calling him knowing that he depended on my calls to help him" Dean said quietly "why would he not be angry about that."

"Because you're Dean" John answered "and to him you can do no wrong."

"It might have been like that a long time ago" Dean said "but I highly doubt that he thinks of me like that anymore." John reached over and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. He hated that as a father he couldn't really offer any reassurances. Dean sighed, and reached out and flipped on the radio. Bob Dylan's voice singing Knocking on Heaven's door filled the car.

"Do you think the werewolf was going after Sam?" Dean asked the thought had occurred to him but he hoped he was wrong.

"Even if it did, Sam knew how to take care of it. It wouldn't be the first werewolf." John replied "why do you ask."

"I'm just wondering if that feeling in my stomach has anything to do with the werewolf and Sam. Cause what are the odds of there being a supernatural creature in Stanford that wasn't after Sammy."

"I don't know, but this is the reason I didn't want Sammy to leave in the first place." John muttered darkly. Dean frowned and didn't reply his father was starting to get in one of his moods. And it would be best to just leave him alone. He laid his head against the seat and closed his eyes.

"Wake me when we get there."

The day turned to night then turned to morning over and over again, until Dean and John had finally arrived in Palo Alto. The first thing John done was find a hotel room, that was near the crime scene. Once he had them checked in he shook Dean awake.

"Grab your stuff and get inside" he muttered gruffly. Dean didn't say anything just climbed out of the car and stretched his sore limbs.

"Finally we're here; I didn't think we would ever get here." Dean walked over to the back of the car. Reaching into the trunk, Dean grabbed his bag and just happened to glance up when he saw a person who suspiciously looked just like his little brother, with a good looking blond on his arm, into the room right next to his and John's room. He was just as tall as Sam had been when he had left and he had the same length hair as Sam did.

AN

Please read and review and let me know what you think. And was the song Knocking on Heavens' door a bit of foreshadowing?


	8. Chapter 8

I'm already gone

Chapter 8

Since the body had been found in Sam's apartment, he had been forced to delay packing and check into a hotel while the police investigated. Sam hated the whole thing because it reminded him of days he had spent fighting with his father, and of course he wished Brady was still alive, and Sam hoped before he left he would be able to track the werewolf down and kill it before it claimed anyone else. Sam wondered as he walked towards his room if his dad would even want to speak to him after the way things had ended between them. Sam hoped so; he didn't want to die without his family by his side. He only wished it didn't take dying for Sam to realize how much he wanted to reconcile with his family.

Sam was so lost in thought, that he walked right past the '67 Chevy Impala without even seeing his brother standing there. He just walked into this room and after Jessica came through the door shut it.

"If you walk out that door, you better never come back" John's angry words still came to mind it seemed whenever he missed his family the most. It was like his own subconscious wanted him to hurt for the decision he had made. Speaking of hurting, Sam's head was starting beat a slow rhythm on his brain. Sam sighed and raised his hands and rubbed half heartedly at his forehead, hoping to relief some of the growing tension.

"Are you okay? Sam?" Jessica asked placing her hand on his arm.

"I'll be okay, I just need to take my meds" Sam replied before shuffling over to rifle through his bag to find his meds. Only to discover they weren't there.

_Must have left them in the car _Sam thought as he turned and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Jessica asked, turning away from the show she had been watching.

"I left my meds in the car, I'll be right back" Sam replied opening the door and walking out. Stopping Jessica from offering to go get them for him.

As he reached his car, he took noticed for the first time the sleek, classic black Impala that was parked right next to his vehicle. His breath caught in his throat could it be possible that his father and brother had found out about Brady? Sam was almost scared to hope. He didn't think he would be able to handle it if it wasn't them. And if it was them, would they even want to see him? Sam was just as scared of rejection as he was to hope it was them.

Sam reached out and unlocked his car door but as he went to open the door. He was hit with such an agonizing migraine that he dropped to his knees clutching his head. He was in so much pain he didn't see his brother coming of the room next to his, and come running to his side. Sam only felt the gentle hands holding him and keeping him from slumping forward.

"I've got you Sammy" Dean whispered as he pulled Sam against his chest. Dean was terrified, he had been coming out to the car to get more salt; when he had witnessed Sam collapsing . he had never seen Sam in so much pain before and that included all the hunts he'd been injured on in the past. So this experience had left Dean feeling a little more than helpless. What Dean didn't know was that Dean's presence was beginning to sooth some of Sam's pain.

"D'n" Sam mumbled, as he felt the migraine losing some of its power. "What are you doing here?"

"There's a hunt in the area" Dean noted that the pain lines were slowly starting to leave. They sat there for a few more minutes before Sam decided he was well enough to move again.

"You mind telling me what that was about?" Dean asked getting up and pulling Sam up with him.

"Migraine" Sam replied uncomfortable, he was unsure of how to tell him that he wouldn't be around that much longer.

"Do you get migraines like that a lot?" Sam just shrugged. Unbeknownst to the two boys, their father was watching from the safety of his room.

John felt the sting of bitterness well up as he watched his boys converse. Even after all this time Dean and Sam and fallen back into the way they were before Sam had left for Stanford. As he watched John wondered _why Sam was even in a hotel. Shouldn't he be in a dorm or something? _

Ten minutes later Dean walked back into the room with a worried frown on his face.

"I think Sam is sick" Dean announced out of nowhere.

"What makes you think that?" John asked picking up the newspaper and flipping to the article about the attack. "He looked fine to me."

"He frigging collapsed from a migraine," Dean grumbled "that's never happened before."

"Let's focus on the hunt" John said "it's not like Sam will die before this hunt is over."

"Figured that's what you would say" Dean muttered and headed towards the restroom.

Sam was lying in bed with a wet rag slung over his eyes, his head though not as bad as before was still hurting. He still couldn't believe Dean and his dad were here in Palo Alto on a hunt. Sam wondered briefly what it was that they were hunting. Hearing a groan from beside him, Sam removed the rag and looked over at Jessica.

"You okay?" he asked in concern, he hoped she wasn't getting sick again, like she had been for the past few weeks or so.

"I'm feeling sick to my stomach again" Jessica moaned getting up and making a mad dash for the restroom. The sounds of vomited came moments later. Sam frowned she had been getting sick a lot lately and he wondered what kind of flu only made you sick in the mornings. Getting up, Sam headed to the restroom where he held Jessica hair back and traced circles into her back.

"Don't you think you should be lying down?" she asked as she wiped her mouth on the spare wash cloth Sam had handed her.

"I can rest later, I want to make sure you're okay" Sam said helping her to her feet.

"Whatever this is, I hate it" she muttered as she filled a cup with water and rinsed her mouth.

Five minutes later found Sam back in bed and Jessica heading for the door. He wasn't so sure she should be going anywhere with the way she was feeling. But she insisted she needed to go to the pharmacy and get some meds.

"You better still be in that bed when I get back" Jessica said he had told her about Dean and his father being next door.

"My dad I'm pretty sure doesn't want to see me" Sam said "and Dean's probably helping Dad with whatever they are working on so I will be remaining in this room."

"I'm sure your Dad will come around soon" She said softly hating the way Sam's family had caused him so much hurt.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go get it for you?" Sam asked changing the ever so painful subject.

"You would be more dangerous behind the wheel than I am" Jessica chuckled before walking out the door. Sam smirked she was probably right about that. There was no telling when a migraine would hit. So help him if it happened while he was driving, he'd probably kill someone.

Thirty minutes later Jessica came back with a small bag in her hand and headed straight for the restroom, closing the door behind her.

Sam wondered what going on when he didn't hear the sounds of her getting sick.

"Jess" he called out, starting to get worried when she gave no reply. Sam started to get up just as the bathroom door opened and she came out with a slightly shocked expression on her face.

"Jess?" he asked softly "what's going on?"

"Sam" she said "you're going to be a daddy"

AN

surprised? I was, this story has a mind of its own, and does what it wants to, so please don't kill me. John and Sam will have their moment together maybe not for a few more chapters but it will happen. Sam will also tell them about himself soon. but anyways enough rambling from me. Thanks for reading and reviewing I am very greatful. might even have another chapter up tomorrow depending on if I can get it done tonight. we shall see.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm already gone

Chapter 9

Sam stared at Jessica not believing the words that had just come from her mouth.

"Are you serious?" he asked swallowing hard; she nodded and held up the pregnancy test.

"I have suspected for a few weeks now" she said "I just didn't have the courage actually take a test till now." Sam stood and walked the short distance to where she stood and pulled Jessica into his arms.

"I can't believe it" Sam whispered into her hair as tears began to fill his eyes. He was going to be a father. He never thought that that would happen. He truly was happy at knowing he was going to be a father.

_You probably won't be around to see the birth _a voice in Sam's head said and he frowned it was more than likely right but that didn't mean he couldn't celebrate now.

Jessica snuggled closer into his chest. She had always loved being held by Sam. He had always thought it was funny the way she could just spend hours at a time in his arms, they didn't have to be doing anything and she was happy. What he never said was how much he always enjoyed holding her. He wondered how happy she would be raising their child on her own. As much he hated to admit it his clock was counting down, it would only be a matter of months. He sighed his thoughts were already starting to bring him down from his high.

Sam pressed a kiss to Jessica's head as he wondered about the future; he hoped the kid had Jessica's heart. She was the sweetest kindest person he had ever known, he hoped that wouldn't change.

Jessica feeling Sam sigh looked up at him curiously. She could literally see the wheels turning in Sam's head. She knew he would be thinking about the cancer, she really wished she could change things for him cause at the way things were going she was going to end up with a broken heart and his child. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Sam's lips.

"Let's not think about that right now" she said "you still have some time left so lets now dwell on the future." Sam smiled pulling her closer to him.

"I don't know what I would do without you." He chuckled, she shrugged, "Crash and burn" she suggested as Sam kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tightly. She was afraid to let go, as if she did, Sam would leave never to return. She wanted him by her side for eternity.

"Are you going to tell your family anytime soon?" she asked referring to both the cancer and the pregnancy. Sam sighed he still wasn't sure how he was going to broach that subject, although he could imagine Dean's face when he told him about the pregnancy.

"Honestly, I'm not sure how" Sam said as he let Jessica go and went and sat down on the bed. "Dean will probably freak out about both, Dad I'm not sure how he will react. Not well if his reaction to my leaving to go to Stanford is any indication." He looked down at his hands; he was still feeling the rejection from that. He wondered if it would ever stop hurting as much as it did now.

"I'm sure when the time comes you will know what to say" Jessica said walking over and sitting down beside Sam. "As for now I know what you can do."

"What's that?" Sam asked, as he leaned over and kissed Jessica.

"You can love me like there's no tomorrow" She answered as they lay down on the bed, Sam leaning over her.

"I can do that" he said as he dipped down and kissed her mouth softly.

Dean came out of the shower to find John on the phone. He went over to the table by the window and sat down in front of the laptop. Computers had always been Sam's thing but since he had left. Dean was left manning it.

Five minutes later John was off the phone. Dean took in the serious look on John's face. His dad wouldn't be going to see Sam anytime soon.

"I just got off with the police officer who investigated the attack." John stated, Dean nodded for him to continue.

"You know whose apartment the guy was killed in?" Dean shook his head. Didn't really matter, guy was dead they needed to find out what killed him.

"Does it really matter?" Dean asked, he wanted this case over so he could be around Sam some more.

"It just might. " John said "the guy was killed in none other than a certain Sam Winchesters apartment. They were roommates." Dean looked up in surprise.

"Well, that explains why Sam's in a hotel." John nodded "He was also the one to find the body, so you can find out what he knows about it. " Dean frowned he didn't like the way his father wouldn't even go around Sam.

"I'm not going over there this time" Dean stated firmly, "You are, you want this information bad enough, you will get over whatever problem you have with Sammy."

John scowled at him; Dean had caught on to what he was doing. "And we said Sam was the smart one" he muttered, Dean smirked. "I have my moments, especially when your trying to shirk your duty" John turned and batted half heartedly at Dean's head.

"You better watch it" he threatened.

"Or what" Dean demanded, "you'll do nothing besides getting over to Sammy's room and finding out what he knows." John sighed he wasn't looking forward to this at all.

"Don't drag your feet" Dean said, laughing as he watched his father walk out the door like he was going to his execution. He hoped his little plan worked and they didn't end up killing each other.

John shook his head as he headed out the door; he wasn't sure where Dean got his mouth from. Mary had never acted like that when she had been alive. Walking to the room next door took nearly all his energy. He wasn't sure how this was going to turn out. He really should have ordered Dean to do it. He never contested an order. Usually, John frowned; as he raised his hand to knock on the door.

Upon hearing the knock, Sam sat up, he had nearly been asleep, when the knock had came. He wondered briefly if it wasn't Dean coming to drag him around town. He hoped not because the only thing he felt like doing was staying her and holding Jess. Getting up he slipped into the jeans he had discarded on the floor about an hour earlier. Walking to the door, he was surprised to say the least when he saw who was standing there.

John couldn't believe what he was seeing; Sam was half naked at the door and from what he could see a mostly naked blonde girl was in the bed.

"Is this a bad time?"

AN

Is it horrible? Let me know what you think. I tried a little humor not really sure that it worked so well. Please read and review. I am also toying with the idea of Sam as a "good" werewolf story PM me let know what you think. He won't be a werewolf in this one.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sam stared at John, his face turning red, he could only imagine what was going through his father's head. He couldn't believe after everything that had happened his Dad had turned up at his door. Feeling a tad bit humiliated, he could only stare.

"We need to talk about what happened at your apartment" John said looking down, he really didn't want to see his son like this.

"Give me a second and I will come to your room, Jessica is resting and I don't want her to know what's really going on" Sam said turning and closing the door as his father walked away. He sighed it figure John would want to talk about hunting, it seems that was the only thing he cared about. Sam wondered briefly what John's reaction would be to the news that he had a grandbaby on the way. Grabbing his shirt off the floor, Sam tugged it on, then went to Jessica's side of the bed.

"I'll be back, Dad wants to talk about Brady and what happened. So I will return when he's finished." He whispered into ear and as he stood he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. He wondered how he had managed to get so lucky with her.

Sighing, Sam turned and headed towards the door. He wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go but he was pretty nervous. Fully dressed he Left the room, he walked next door and as he was raising his hand to knock. He was suddenly face to face with a smirking older brother. Sam wondered what his father had told Dean.

"I see your better" Dean commented "surprised you didn't come here in your boxers." Sam felt his face turn red, it was just as he had feared his father had told Dean.

"Little Sammy got some action" Dean taunted as he stepped aside and let his brother in.

"Shut up jerk" Sam muttered and then added as an after thought "I don't name my parts." He wished he could melt into the floor.

"Make me Bitch" Dean said laughing harder at the look on Sam's face.

John watched his boys banter back and forth. He had to admit it done his hard heart some good, to see them go at it.

"As much as I would like this show to continue; I really need to know about what's going on around here" John said he didn't miss how Sam's face dropped all expression. For a moment he hated himself for being the one to always ruin the mood. But work had to be done and people needed to be saved.

"I'm pretty sure it's a werewolf" Sam muttered, looking down at the floor. He wished he didn't have to discuss this right now.

"What makes you say that?" John asked.

"When I walked into the apartment and found Brady's body, his heart was missing"

"Do you have any idea who it could be?" Dean asked, keeping a close eye on the changing emotions in Sam's face. He was sorry Sam had lost his friend. He wished Sam didn't have to go through that.

"No," Sam muttered and John felt his irritation rising.

"Why not?" he demanded ignoring the way Sam seemed to shrink away from him. "if you knew it was a werewolf, you could have and should have taken care of it by now" Dean watched silently he knew by John's tone things were about to turn ugly.

Sam scowled at the floor, he really didn't need this right now. His head was starting to hurt again and he was pretty sure he would end up with another migraine.

"Maybe I have more important things to worry about" Sam shouted turning away from his father. Dean hated the stress he was starting to see on Sam's face, it only reiterated that something was going on with him. Dean was determined to find out.

"Like what?" John growled "getting good grades, people are dying, your friend died and you could have stopped it. His blood is on your hands."

Sam's face went pale hearing the cruel words John had uttered. Feeling sick Sam turned and rushed into the restroom, barely making it as the bile came up.

Dean glared at his father; he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Sam's friend's death is not his fault and if you remember correctly Sam doesn't hunt anymore. Tracking this werewolf isn't his job its ours" Dean declared.

"We shouldn't be here" John insisted "Sam still should have taken care of it. Its not like he doesn't know what to do." Dean just shook his head, he couldn't believe his father. Unbeknownst to them Sam stepped out of the rest room.

"You want to know what's more important to me?" he asked quietly. John and Dean turned to look at him. Dean hated the look of emotional pain in his brother's eyes.

"How about the fact that I have a kid on the way and I don't know if I will live to see him or her born." He said quietly, staring down at the floor, the pain in his voice breaking Dean's heart.

"What?" Dean asked, fear starting to crawl through him at his brothers words.

"My girlfriend is pregnant and I have terminal brain cancer."

AN

Sorry its so short but the next chapter will be longer and hopefully post next week. Please read and review thanks again. Liz


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Dean couldn't believe what he had just heard come from Sam's mouth. Sam couldn't possibly be dying. _Sam would have told him sooner wouldn't he? _Dean thought _this couldn't be happening right now. Not when they had just found him. _Dean started pacing around the small room he was feeling pretty nervous.

Sam watched him pace; he wished that they didn't have to find out this way. Sam turned to his father after a few minutes of watching Dean. He could feel his brother's nervousness from across the room, and it was starting to unsettle him.

"Dad?" Sam asked quietly "please say something." Sam could feel his own anger drain into worry. He had never expected this to happen. John looked at his son but still felt unable to speak. His baby boy was dying and he had just treated Sam in the worse possible way.

"Dad?" Dean asked when he noticed Sam had gotten no response from their father.

"How long do you have?" John finally broke the silence, afraid that he would let his thoughts be known.

"A few months" Sam replied feeling uncomfortable and looking down at the floor. This was the hardest thing he had ever done, explaining he was dying to his father and brother.

"All those calls" Dean piped in "was you trying to tell me something was going on with you?" Sam nodded not looking up from the floor. It made Dean feel even more like a dick then he already was. He swallowed hard, he had never thought any of the Winchester would be taken out by anything but the hunt. As he thought about all the calls he had purposefully ignored, made him feel sick and sent him running to the restroom.

Sam watched Dean go despite everything he had been put through with them, he still felt bad that they even had to deal with this. It wasn't easy, Sam knew after all he was the one living with it.

"Dad?" Sam asked turning to face John; his heart in his throat "Do you hate me?" John stared at his son; feeling broken hearted that Sam even had to ask that question. But as he looked into Sam's eyes and saw the pain in the depths of the hazel. He knew Sam truly believed John hated him.

As John offered no immediate response, Sam turned away feeling his heart break as he did. He knew the truth now and he wouldn't be around to burden them with his presence anymore. Sam stood with his head hung low he headed towards the door.

As if sensing that Sam was about to walk out of his life for good this time. John broke out of his trance and went after him, managing to get to the door before Sam did.

Sam was surprised that John had tried to stop him, he didn't see why if he didn't care for him. seeing the wild look in John's eyes, Sam almost expected for John to hit him, instead he was surprised again as John reached out and wrapped Sam in his arms, holding him tightly to his chest.

"I would never hate you, Sam" John whispered he was still in shock over the news Sam had shared earlier. "You're the last best thing Mary gave me. No matter what you do I could never hate you." John felt his spirit be crushed a tiny bit as Sam broke down and sobbed. Knowing that his father truly did love him was nearly more than he could take. Sam lay his head down on his fathers should as the sobs tore through his body and they slowly sunk to the floor.

"I don't want to die" He sobbed "I want to see my baby born and grow up" Sam felt the weeks of stress finally seeming to lessen as he told his father his fears.

Dean came out of the restroom just in time to see John and Sam sink to the floor beside the door. Dean's heart broke just listening to the emotional agony his little brother was in. adding it all to the pile was knowing that Dean had also had a part in hurting his brother. To him that damn near unforgivable. You couldn't just hurt Sam without paying a price. When he had stopped calling he hadn't intended to cause Sam this amount of grief. Had he known that was what he was doing, Dean would have changed his course of action fast. As he stood there watching Sam grieve, Dean decided this time if Sam allowed of course, he wasn't going to leave his side, he would be there until the end of whatever happily ever after crap happened. Dean walked over and sat down on the floor beside them; and placed his hands on Sam's back. He doubted words would get very far with Sam but Dean knew gestures would. It seemed his brother thrived on chick flicks, but this time Dean was more than happy to participate if it meant his little brother would be comforted in even the tiniest bit. Seeing Sam like this only hurt Dean even more, no one deserved to be going through what his little brother was. It wasn't fair.

"So my little brother's going to be a daddy" Dean said, noting the way Sam's eyes seemed to light up when he mentioned the unborn baby.

"Yes," Sam said feeling embarrassed and scooting back away from his father.

"I'm going to be a grandfather" John murmured the thought bringing tears to his eyes. He never in his life expected to have a grandchild.

"I'm going to be an Uncle" Dean said "I'll teach it how to take care of the Impala, how hustle pool"

"You're going to have to wait a while to do any of that" Sam said "he or she won't be born fully grown."

"I know that" Dean muttered reaching out and swatting the back of Sam's head.

"What about your girlfriend, do you have any plans for your future?" John asked Sam nodded.

"I'm going to ask her to marry me."

AN

I wasn't going to post till next week but since I have the opportunity I am going to take it. I'm actually a bit proud on how this turned out, but still let me know what you think? Thanks for reading and reviewing, your reviews make my day. Liz


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Dean stared at Sam, a grin slowly spreading across his face. He was happy that Sam had found someone he could share his life with but at the same time he was kind of sad because it really meant that Sam wouldn't be hunting with them anymore.

"When is this going to happen?" John asked. Sam smiled nervously.

"Tonight, provided everything goes well" Sam said frowning. He hoped and prayed he wouldn't get a migraine tonight of all nights. He had put a lot of time into planning this evening. Dean being the older brother he was, could tell immediately where his little brothers thought's had gone.

"You'll be fine" Dean said reaching out and placing his hand on Sam's shoulder, "she'll say yes and you will live happily ever after with about twelve kids." Sam laughed softly at his brother's attempts at cheering him up.

"I can always count on you to say something totally outrageous" Sam muttered "I don't plan on having twelve kids." Sam glanced down at his watch; he had an hour to get ready for dinner.

"You better go on" John said "you don't want to be late

"You guys want to meet her after dinner?" Sam asked walking out the door.

"Of course we do" Dean answered for John "Gotta make sure she's good enough for you."

"Just don't embarrass me too much." Sam said disappearing into his own room. Dean shook his head. He had never figured this would be how the day ended. Not with the news Sam had shared just a little while earlier.

"Think you'll be able to concentrate on the hunt?" John asked noting the lost in thought expression on Dean's face.

"With everything that's going on currently, not very likely" Dean muttered but sat down in front of the laptop once more.

"Well, suck it up" John said "Sam won't be back for a little while, until then we can work on finding out who's the big bad wolf." Dean frowned he would much rather think about finding a way out of Sam dying on them.

Sam entered his own room quietly, only to find Jessica was already up and getting ready. He smiled, seeing that she was wearing his favorite slim black dress. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands going to lay flat on her stomach; he wished he could feel the baby move already, but alas she wasn't that far along. Jessica smiled and leaned back against him. She couldn't possibly be any happier than she was now, though she knew that would be changing in a matter of months. She didn't want to imagine just how much it was going to hurt to lose him.

She sighed as happy as she would be to remain in Sam's arms forever they both had to finish getting ready for dinner. Jessica slipped out from Sam's arms reluctantly.

"I have to brush my teeth and you need a shower, you stink" She told Sam as she went into the restroom. When Jessica had disappeared Sam went over to the drawer that contained clothes, reaching into it, Sam pulled out the ring he had chosen for Jessica. He really couldn't wait till he would be able to give it to her. He hoped she would be happy. Her happiness meant his happiness.

Slipping the ring into his jacket pocket; Sam went over and sat down on the bed. As he waited Sam lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He had never imagined this would happen for him. He had almost always imagined himself as a hunter until the fateful day he had received the scholarship to Stanford. Sam had obviously taken it.

Hearing Jessica come out of the restroom, Sam sat up and lumbered to his feet. Jessica smiled at the gentle giant in front of her. It was still hard to believe this man had fallen in love with her. There wasn't a day that went by that she felt like the luckiest person on the planet.

"Hurry up, we don't want to be late" Jessica said standing on her tips toes to press a kiss to Sam's lips. Sam smiled laughing softly.

"You know I don't want to make us late" with that Sam headed into the bathroom and closed the door. Jessica heard the shower start a few seconds later.

By the time Sam had finished with his shower and had gotten dressed Jessica was finished getting ready and was waiting patiently in the chair by the window.

"I take it your ready to go?" Sam asked reaching down and grabbing his shoes.

"Of course" Jessica stated keeping her eyes trained on the man she loved. Almost afraid that if she took her eyes off of him he would disappear.

Finishing with his shoes, Sam looked up and noticed Jessica watching him. He smiled he knew she was worried but he didn't think that tonight she really had anything to be afraid of. He felt better than he had for a long time. He just hoped it would last for the night. Jessica stood and Sam followed her out the door. Sam grabbed her hand in his and walked to the car.

Twenty minutes later found them at the Italian restaurant, the one Jessica loved to eat at but really couldn't afford too, because it was so expensive.

She turned and looked at Sam, she loved Sam even more for knowing her favorite restaurant of all time.

"How can you afford this place" she asked as Sam got out and walked around the car to open her door.

"Trust me" Sam said "I have been saving for a while." As they walked into the restaurant Sam noticed the '67 black Impala parked not far from them. Sam had invited Dean and John to meet Jessica after he had proposed to her. He hoped they had gotten a table somewhere near him and Jess.

They only had to wait five minutes before they were led to their table. Sam noted that Dean and John were only one table away. He gave them a nervous smile and Dean flashed him a thumbs up and a cocky grin. Sam turned his attention back to Jessica. Tonight was all about her and their relationship. They talked and laughed about the memories through the dinner. After the dinner was over and they had ordered their desert Sam could his nervousness beginning to make itself known again. Biting his lip, Sam reached into his pocket and as he pulled it out; he got down on one knee in front of Jessica. As he kneeled down he hit by such an agonizing migraine, he nearly threw up on the spot. Dropping the ring, Sam reached up and clutched his head, unaware the blood began dripping down his face from his nose. Sam moaned as the pain only grew worse, and his eyes just rolled up in the back of his head and he fell forward onto the floor.

Jessica had enjoyed having dinner with Sam and at the end of it was surprised when Sam had gotten down on one knee. Jessica felt tears well up in her eyes when she realized Sam was asking her to marry him, only watch in horror as another migraine hit him and he ended up collapsing onto the floor.

Dean and John watched Sam get down on one knee and in less then two minutes collapse onto the floor. Dean and John both jumped up and ran to his side. Dean reached down and placed his fingers on Sam's neck, he was relieved to find his brothers pulse was strong, but was still terrified because he had no idea why Sam was lying unconscious on the floor.

"Somebody call 911" John shouted as Jessica and him kneeled down beside Sam. John felt fear race through his heart as he saw the blood freely streaming from Sam's nose. _Please don't him be dying now _John thought _Sam can't die now, he can't leave us like this._ Dean was nearly beside himself with fear, he didn't know what was going on but he really hoped this wasn't Sam's time. He was scared he would never get to talk to his brother again. That fear was only made worse as his brother stopped breathing completely.

It seemed like an hour had passed before the paramedics had arrived but it had only been about ten minutes. They pushed the worried family members aside. They had a job to do. Another life to save. Within five minutes they had forced a tube down Sam's throat, connecting it to an ambu bag where one of the medics began furiously pumping air into Sam's lungs.

Dean watched in horror he never wanted to see his brother like this again but even as he watched Jessica completely fell apart. As the girl began crying; Dean reached out and pulled her against his chest. He didn't know her but his brother loved her and that was enough for Dean.

Five minutes later the medics had Sam loaded on an gurney and was pushing him towards the exit, and through the people standing around gawking, which only served to make John irritated, his son didn't deserve to be stared at like he was a freak.

As the paramedics were rushing Sam towards the exit, Dean stood and pulled Jessica to his feet with him. As they headed for the exit, Dean wrapped his arm around the girls shoulders. He felt bad for her, tonight was supposed to be the best night of her life instead it had been turned into a complete nightmare.

Having made their exit, Dean pushed Jessica toward the Impala.

"We'll come back and get your car after we find out what's going on." Dean said he wasn't about to let the upset girl drive. She would probably wind up getting herself killed, which Sam most definitely did not need. Entering the car with John driving and Dean sitting in the back with Jessica they made it to the hospital not five minutes after the ambulance did.

Rushing into the ER they headed straight for the nurses' station located at the entrance to the waiting room. Dean of course, headed straight for it despite knowing they wouldn't know anything about Sam since he had just arrived their themselves.

While Dean was pestering the nurses about Sam, John and Jessica went and found a seat in the fairly crowded room. They sat down across from each other, in an uncomfortable silence.

"So, you're the Jessica my boy has fallen head over heels in love with" John said quietly. She nodded, feeling a bit shy with being around Sam's father.

"Yeah, I'm just as crazy about him" she said softly, with tears still running down her face.

"Sam deserves to be happy" John stated "I was kinda rough on him growing up, but in the business we are in, its be tough or die. I didn't want Sam to end up in an early grave. I thought I had Sam prepared for anything, and everything just not what he's going through now." John said sighing and reaching up and scrubbing his jaw.

"I'm sure you done the best you could with Sam" Jessica murmured "nobody can be prepared for what's going on now." Just then Dean wondered back over to them and sat down beside his father with a scowl on his face.

"They don't know anything" he muttered, feeling even more scared for his brother.

"He just go here" John reminded him "they won't know anything for a while yet."

"Which is perfect cause I really want to know what is going on" Dean sighed and looked over at Jessica.

"I'm Dean by the way." She smiled at him, she had already figured out who was who, just by the way Sam had described them. John by his rough manner and Dean by his cocksureness, but there was undoubtedly something they both had in common and that was their love for Sam.

AN

Sorry about not posting in a while. I have been really sick and haven't had time to get much done. I hope you like this chapter cause it was a pain the butt to write, but I think it turned out alright in the end. , I just got to figure out a way for it to make sense first. And as usual thank you for reading and reviewing! Lots of love Liz


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Dr. Collins sighed as he stared at the x-ray film; the results of the tests he had run were not at all pleasing. He knew a few people who would be a lot more upset about it. It would seem the young Winchester really did not have very good luck, not with what he was facing now. He raised his hand and rubbed at his scruffy beard. He really didn't want to be the one to tell the Winchester family what was going on. Dr. Collins had heard that Sam had proposed to his girlfriend tonight and had collapsed in the middle of it, and with the way things were looking now, the wedding would be put off permanently.

"Poor kid never seems to catch a break" The X-Ray tech commented looking intently on the dark spot that was covering a bit of the healthy side of the brains. "Will you be able to fix this with an operation?"

"Not likely" Dr. Collins replied "the damage has already been done, if we go in now, Sam would die on the table."

"So the kid's brain damaged on top of dying from cancer" the tech said.

"Yeah," Dr. Collins said "the dark spots reflect the areas affected, we could maybe drill into the skull to drain some of the blood but from what I can tell, there's already irreversible brain damage. Maybe the kids lucky this happened."

"What's so lucky about what happened here?" the tech asked curious, there was nothing lucky about what he had just heard.

"It means he's not likely to feel anymore pain from the tumor" Dr. Collins stated before turning and heading towards the door, it was time to face the family.

Dean sighed and shuffled back to his waiting family, feeling frustrated. He had never been a patient person to begin with but when he was waiting on news on a seriously ill little brother, he tended to be a whole lot worse. Sitting down beside his father; he looked up at Jessica.

"You feeling okay?" he asked noting the way she clutched at her stomach as if she was going to be sick. Dean figured the stress she was under now wasn't doing any good for her or the baby. She shook her head no, just as she swallowed hard against the bile she could feel rising. She didn't want to get sick in front of her future family, which would be embarrassing. She was almost sure it was the pregnancy causing her to feel sick but with the stress of the situation at hand sure wasn't helping any. She hoped Dr. Collins or somebody would come and tell them something soon, she was about to go insane with worry. Closing her eyes Jessica leaned forward and rested her forehead on her knees. Tears began sliding down her face; she had fantasized about Sam proposing to her for a few months, she couldn't understand how her dream turned into such a nightmare so fast. It shouldn't be possible. Sobs ripped from her throat as images of Sam lying limply on the floor of that restaurant as the medics worked to get him breathing again. She had never seen so much blood from a nosebleed before, Sam had quickly been drenched in it, looking like he was suffering a gunshot wound instead of a nosebleed. It had broken her heart to see him like that and she hoped to never have to see it again. As she sat there a thought suddenly occurred to her; Sam had never had a nosebleed with any of his other migraines so what had changed? Why was he getting them now?

Dean feeling concerned for his future sister in law stood and walked over to where she sat and took the empty chair next to hers. He placed his hand on her back in a gesture of comfort.

"Sam's going to be alright, you will see, nothing can keep a Winchester down" Dean commented as he started rubbing gently circles into her back. He could remember doing the same for Sam whenever he had been sick as a child.

"Sam never once had any nosebleeds before tonight" she said sniffing as she looked up and into Dean's eyes, he could easily read the terror in them. "Why is he getting nosebleeds now?"

Dean knew that Jessica was thinking that now there was something even more serious going on with his brother. Dean hoped with all of his heart that she was wrong. Dean hated that this was happening now that the Winchesters had been reunited. Dean hated that this happened when Dean hadn't been able to properly make it up to Sam after all the anguish he had put Sam through. Though in Dean's way of thinking no excuse was good enough for doing that to Sam. Dean deserved for Sam to be angry at him, to not want anything to do with him. Dean wouldn't blame Sam for hating him, it was nothing less then he deserved.

The thought that Sam might not walk back through the hospital doors again, made Dean's heart hurt something furious. He couldn't stand the thought of Sam dying, it nearly made him sick thinking about it now. One thing was for sure though, if Sam died, Dean would follow shortly after. Dean had never planned on outliving his brother. life was just too hard to face without Sam.

Dean shook his head; he needed to focus on being positive. Sam would somehow walk away from this whole situation. He was a Winchester after all and they didn't get taken down by any kind of disease.

Sighing, Dean looked towards the ER doors, wishing his brother's doctor would come through them. Hopefully he would have good news, they needed some after all the waiting they had done already. Dean looked back over at Jessica and noted his efforts at comfort appeared to be working.

"Somebody needs to call Bobby and let him know about Sam" Dean said breaking the silence. He couldn't stand being alone with his thoughts right now.

"I'll call him, I need to discuss something with him anyways?" John said standing and heading for the exit. "Come and get me if the doctor comes out?" Dean nodded and turned back to Jessica.

"I can't believe this is happening" she murmured sitting up, "I dreamed about this day for a long time and now it's turned to a nightmare."

"Sam has never exactly had good luck" Dean chuckled "its Murphy's law anything that can go wrong will go wrong." Jessica sighed and glanced up just as she saw a doctor come through the swinging doors.

"Family of Sam Winchester?" Dr. Collins called out looking at the waiting room and noting the tall dark haired young man that stood up. He walked over to them and introduced himself as Dr. M. Collins.

"I'm Dean, Sam's brother and this is Jessica Sam's girl" Dean said as his father walked up.

"I'm John, Sam's father, would you mind telling us what's going on with my boy" he said gruffly.

"I'm afraid it isn't good" Dr. Collins said "your youngest has suffered from an intracranial bleed and is still deeply unconscious"

"What's that?" Dean asked not liking what he was hearing.

"A vein burst possibly cause of the tumor pressing down onto it, unfortunately there has been a large amount of bleeding going on, we are going to drill a small hole into the base of the skull to drain the blood but unfortunately irreversible brain damage has occurred" Dr. Collins said holding an X-ray film up the light and showing them the dark spots on Sam's brain.

"This spot" Dr. Collins said pointing out the largest spot covering half the brain "is the tumor. The smaller spots is the blood." He pointed out several small spots dotting the other side of Sam's brain. Holding up another film, he pointed out the darker spots.

"These are the places that are damaged due to the bleed" Dr. Collins said "it affects his speech, movement and some memory."

Dean felt like hurling as he looked at the film that predicated his brother's future.

"So when he wakes up its safe to say he won't be the same?" Jessica asked quietly as large tears trailed down her face. Dr. Collins nodded but then added "We don't think he's going to wake up."

AN

Sorry about the long wait. Writers block has been riding me hard lately, but its seems I have gotten rid of him for now. Please don't kill me (hides behind bedroom door) just remember its always darkest before dawn. Please let me know what you think about this chapter, its not the best I know and remember I am no doctor or nurse or anything in the med field (yet). Thanks for taking the time to review and read. Liz


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Hearing her lover's fate, Jessica moaned before turning and racing towards the restroom. She didn't want to believe what she had just heard. Sam had to bounce back from this; he had to somehow beat it.

Dean and John watched her go, in truth Dean also felt like hurling himself. He wanted to see Sam for himself, as if seeing truly was believing. He refused to believe the worse about his brother; Sam would somehow prove everyone wrong.

"You're positive nothing else can be done for Sam?" John asked, watching Dean. He knew hearing this wasn't easy on him, it wasn't easy for John either considering he had basically kicked Sam out of the family.

"We can put him on life support, but that's only going to extend his life not improve it. It will inevitably only lead to more suffering, and it also increases the chances of illness"

Dean swallowed hard, against the rising bile in his throat; Sam was indeed not going to pull through. His life was as he knew it was over.

"I want to see him" Dean choked out, barely able to speak, his throat felt as if it was closing up on him. He would see his brother if the doctor wouldn't let, well let's just say things wouldn't turn out so pretty for the doc.

Dr. Collins noted the almost dangerous expression on the older brother's face. He had pegged Dean right, he was a very protective older brother. It was in that moment that Dr. Collins honestly hated himself for not having better news for them.

"He's being moved into ICU as we speak so it might be a few minutes" Dr. Collins said just as Dean opened his mouth to speak. "I will ensure that you will be able to stay with him at all hours"

John watched as the doctor walked away, taking his heart with him. He couldn't believe this was happening, especially since he really hadn't had a chance to talk to Sam about the leaving for college deal. He never should have said what he did, maybe then somehow they wouldn't be facing saying goodbye permanently, with those harsh words spoken between them. As he stood there the thought occurred to him that there was still a werewolf out there who needed killing. He knew Dean would murder him if he left Sam's side now, and despite his instincts telling him that he could somehow make it up to Dean.

John could feel Dean watching him and could tell Dean knew he was considering leaving; he could practically feel the hate rolling off of him. He sighed if he left he was facing losing both his sons for good; if he stayed he was facing losing both his boys. Either way he was pretty screwed. He sighed, there would be no easy way out of this situation, and no matter what there would be no winning, someone he loved would die; it was only a matter of time. How much time he wasn't sure, but from the way things were looking now it wouldn't be much longer. It was in that moment his mind was made up. He turned his back to Dean and walked towards the exit.

Dean felt the anger rise as he watched his father leave. He couldn't believe the man had the nerve after hearing everything that Dr. Collins had to say. Guess Dean now really understood that hunting was more important then said dying family members. Dean glared as his father disappeared through the hospital entrance. If that's the way John wanted to be so be it, Dean didn't need him. Jessica however did, he saw her exit the restroom and walk back towards him.

"Where's your dad?" she asked noting that John had disappeared.

"Something of apparently more importance came up and he had to leave" Dean said. Jessica could hear the faint trace of bitterness in his voice and wondered about that.

"Something more important than Sam?" Jessica asked, noticing that Dean rolled his eyes as if the thought of his now mia father didn't even bother him.

"There are things that our father tends to put before family" Dean said "he's never really been the family first kind of guy."

"I noticed" Jessica said "it seems like Sam and John don't get along that well"

"Yeah" Dean said "their too much alike, that's their problem but neither of them see just how alike they are."

"Sam can be pretty stubborn when he wants to be" Jessica agreed smiling fondly thinking back to a time when she had tried to coax him to a party but Sam had blatantly refused to go. He claimed he had to study.

"Sam was never really a people person" Dean said when Jessica had finished her antidote. "I guess he just felt he never really fit in because we had to move around so much."

A few minutes later a nurse came and took them to Sam's room. Jessica broke down into tears as soon as she stepped through the door and saw Sam hooked to a ton of machines. Each one doing a job to keep Sam alive. Worst of all was the tube protruding from his mouth, breathing for his brother. Dean hated that it was even necessary for Sam to have it. Dean wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her to Sam's bedside. He had to fight against his own tears at the sight of his gigantic brother lying so still. It didn't seem right to Dean that they even be here.

"Oh, Sammy" he whispered reaching down with his free arm and running in hand through Sam's too long hair. "How is it you have the worst luck out of all us Winchesters?"

Jessica took a deep breath and reached down and took Sam's hand in hers.

"Baby, you have to wake up, you have to fight, I know the doctors say your odds aren't good, but they don't know you the way I do" she whispered bringing Sam's hands to her lips and gently kissing each knuckle. She wished she didn't have to see Sam on the vent because that just seemed to reiterate just how dire this situation was.

While Jessica stood there talking quietly to Sam, Dean pulled up a couple of chair and forced Jessica to sit. He sat down beside her and watched the up and down movement of his brothers chest. _You better fight this brother _Dean thought _we can't make it without you. _

_AN_

_this is more of a filler and there will be more action and drama in the next chapter which I hope to have up next week if possible I will post it earlier. thanks for reading and reviewing! plus there should one maybe two more chapters after this liz_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

AN

Sorry I seem to be misleading people John left to call Bobby to help him with the hunt but John selling his soul for Sammy gives me an idea for another story. I apoplogize I should make myself clearer in my writing anyways on with the story and I hope you enjoy. Liz

Jessica sat beside Sam, holding his hand tightly in hers, afraid that if she let go, he would die. Tears still freely falling down her face, she had never imagined things between them ending this way. She didn't want it to end this way, she just didn't know what she could do to change it.

"Baby, please you have to fight this" she pleaded for what must have been the millionth time. Jessica felt as if her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces, her world slowly shattering around her with each beep from the heart monitor. Knowing Sam would never wake up and just slowly waste away from the cancer caused her even more pain. No one should have to die like that; even she wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy.

Dean watched quietly his heart breaking even more at the sound of Jessica's pleading. He wished she didn't have to going through this; neither Jessica nor Sam deserved it. If Dean could he would take Sam's place in an instant. He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, he was tired, they had been here for a several hours already and the past few weeks were really starting to wear on him. And from the looks of it, it was starting to wear on Jess too.

Jessica ran her hand gently through Sam's hair trying her best to ignore the tube protruding from his mouth. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't make it, she didn't want to raise their child alone. She wanted to marry this man, but fate obviously had other plans for them. Tears streamed down her face as she lay her head down beside Sam's arms. Dean reached over and laid his hand on her shoulder. He had to find a way to fix this, neither of them could go on this way.

Dean turned when the door opened and his father walked in. Dean glared and stood, John was anything but welcome here.

"Dean" John started but Dean shoved him back out the door.

"You don't deserve to be here, not after you walked out." Dean snapped, he was about a second away from drawing back and knocking his father out.

"Dean, I had my reasons" John stated "there is still a werewolf out there needs to be killed. I was making sure that it gets killed."

"Yeah you're putting the hunt before Sam AGAIN" Dean said, clearly even unhappier with his response.

"Do you want more people to die just because Sam's in the hospital?" John asked, trying to get around Dean and back into Sam's room.

"You make it sound like its Sam's fault he's here and in case you didn't know Sam isn't walking out of here alive." Dean said glaring and blocking the doorway. John glared back at Dean, this was getting ridiculous, of course John knew Sam wasn't coming back, but that didn't mean he didn't have the right to sit by his son's side.

"I'm Sam's father, you can't stop me from sitting with him" John stated firmly, hoping by being rough he could get the protective brother to back down. It had worked in the past but from the looks of things, Dean wasn't backing down, he was in full grizzly bear mode. Dean opened his mouth to say something when he heard a loud alarm blare from Sam's room. He shot one more glare at John before turning and rushing into the room. Sam's heart monitor showed a flat line, his little brother was crashing!

Jessica was sobbing as nurses and doctors rushed in and pushed the visitors out of the room and into the hallway.

"He can't go not like this" Jessica cried as she slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Dean immediately went to her side and sat down beside her.

"Sam, will pull through somehow" he said as he drew Jessica into a hug.

"What about the cancer, there is no way to get past that even if he did recover from the aneurysm?" Jessica asked "What sense would it make for him to survive this only to die a few months later?"

"Maybe its fate?" John suggested thinking about some rumors he had heard about Sam from a demon he had exorcised a few months ago. Dean's head shot up and he glared.

"Fate has nothing to do with this!" Dean said, going to stand up as Dr. Collins came out of Sam's room. All heads turned towards him in expectation.

"It was close but we got him back" Dr. Collins told the tired family, "if you have any other family, I would get them here, he's not going to last too much longer."

"How long?" Jessica asked tearfully, afraid of the answer.

"Couple of weeks maybe less" Dr. Collins replied "the cancer is much more advanced then we had originally thought." Jessica broke down sobbing once more; Dean wrapped his arm around her and went back into Sam's room.

"Don't even think about coming in here!" Dean stated icily towards his father. John sighed and went and sat down in the nearby waiting room. He would go see his son, even if he had to wait an hour before he could.

An hour later when Jessica started showing signs of being sleepy; Dean offered to take her back to the hotel even if he didn't want to leave his little brother's side.

"I don't want to leave him" she cried softly, "if he has to go I want to be with him."

"The doc said he had a few more weeks, he won't go tonight, besides" Dean said "you aren't going to do him any good if you are exhausted."

"You should take your own advice, you don't look much better than a raccoon." She said noticing the dark circles under Dean's eyes. He chuckled softly.

"Touché" he said "I'm going to get some rest later" Dean watched her as she seemed to think about what he had said. She could only hope that Sam didn't die tonight.

"I guess I could go back and get a couple hours" she murmured as she stood and grabbed her purse and jacket from where she had flung them hours earlier. Dean stood up and started heading towards the door, Jessica reached out and touched his arm.

"Stay with Sam, I don't want him to be alone" Jessica said knowing that Dean really didn't want to leave "I can call a cab to come and get me."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked not really wanting her to be alone either.

"I'm positive" Jessica smiled at him "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself"

"I don't doubt that" Dean snorted, a small smile coming to his face, he would have loved having her as a sister in law.

"I'll see you in a little while" Jessica said as she headed out the door "I expect you to have gotten some sleep by the time I come back"

"Yes, Sister" Dean muttered as he watched her go. Sam had fallen for a great girl. She would have made a great addition to the Winchester clan. Sighing, Dean turned back to his brother.

John sat in the waiting room toying with his cell phone when he watched Jessica walk out of Sam's room and head towards the exit. John knew he probably wouldn't get in to see Sam again tonight, not with guard dog Dean on duty. He really wanted to see Sam before he went to work on the werewolf hunt. John supposed it was his fault Dean was so protective of Sam; it had been a good thing when the boys were younger, now it was working against John.

John waited for a little while longer before he decided guard dog or not he was going to see his son. Preferably before he left this earth for good. He standing up he walked into Sam's room, to see Dean was out for the count with his head lying on Sam's bed. That was a good thing; he didn't need Dean hounding him. John walked over to the bed and sat in the chair opposite Dean. Leaning over he grabbed Sam's hand.

"I guess it's a little late to apologize for reacting the way I did to you wanting to go to college." John sighed thinking about him telling Sam if he left he could never come back. "You don't know how much I regret saying that, I only wanted to keep you safe, and I really couldn't do that with you so far away, I just want you to know I have to go away for a while because of this werewolf needing killing but I promise I'm not letting you go with saying goodbye" John stood and bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to Sam's forehead.

"I promise, I'll be back, even if I have to sedate your brother." that done John headed for the door and out to kill the werewolf. He wouldn't have Dean's help but he didn't need Dean when he had Bobby Singer. When John had left the hospital earlier it was to call in help, the first person he had thought of was Bobby. He knew Bobby would do to be spending some time with both boys, but first this werewolf needed killing.

Two hours later John had returned to the hotel for a short break he had just parked and exited the car, when he walked to his room he noticed the broken window in the room next door. Curious, he walked over and looked in, what he saw made him sick. Drawing his gun, John kicked the door in and entered the room. The room was covered in blood, John seeing the body headed towards the body, which was clearly dead because her heart had been ripped out, and her stomach slashed open as if the creature had known she was pregnant. John sighed, feeling angry with himself. Jessica's death and the death of his grandchild should not have happened. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he called Bobby.

"The werewolf struck again" John growled.

"Who this time?" Bobby asked surprised this werewolf moved fast.

"Sam's girlfriend" John stated "We have to kill it now, its killed far too many" John didn't want to admit it but this death bothered him far more than any other.

Bobby grew silent for a minute having heard a rustling noise behind him. He felt bad, for the Winchester clan, things were certainly not looking very good for them.

"We'll get it" Bobby assured his friend "it won't live past tonight"

"I hope so" John said, walking out of the hotel room, there was nothing he could do about anything so he would let the police do the clean up.

Heading back into his own room, John was surprised when his phone rang again. Looking down the display showed that it was Dean calling. Feeling a sense of dread fall upon his shoulders, John answered with a gruff hello.

"Sam's awake."

AN

So I thought this would be the last chapter but I lied there's going to be another one. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reviewing and letting me know what you think! Liz ps the next chapter should be up by Wed. evening.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

John stared at the phone not believing what he had just heard. The doctor had told them only a few hours ago that Sam would not wake again, and here it was, Sam was awake.

"Are you sure it's Sam?" John asked, he hoped he was wrong about what he was thinking because he didn't think he would be able to kill his son.

"Of course I am" Dean insisted stubbornly, he could only believe the best about his brother.

"Did you run any of the tests?" John asked knowing full well that Dean wouldn't be very willing to run them while Sam was still in the hospital.

"No, and I am not doing it right now" Dean muttered he knew his father was thinking it wasn't Sam that came back to them.

"Dean, you know you're going to have to" John said "we need to know what we're dealing with here."

"So you think Sam is some kind of monster because he woke up against all odds?" Dean asked feeling anger well up in him. He knew he shouldn't have called his dad.

"What else am I supposed to think, Sam came back and he wasn't supposed too, besides where is he now?"

"Their running tests, I don't think Sam is anything but Sam" Dean insisted.

"I'm telling you" John said "If he's awake it's not a good thing."

"So say he is a monster, you just going to kill him?" Dean asked "You'll be able to kill your own son?"

"Not until I know what's going on?" John said "You know I will make sure he's evil before I do anything"

"Will you?" Dean muttered he was quickly tiring of this conversation; he hated even thinking about having to kill Sam. "Where are you?" he asked.

"Jessica's motel room" John replied.

"What's going on there?" Dean asked concerned.

"She's dead that's what" John said "the werewolf struck again."

Dean felt shock run through him, that couldn't be true. He had only seen her a few hours ago. Anger welled up inside him, he should have taken her back and made sure the room was safe. It was his fault she was dead.

"It's my fault she's gone" Dean said dully, staring at the floor.

"How is it your fault?" John demanded "did you make the wolf decide to go after her?"

"No" Dean muttered "but I didn't take her back to the hotel and I should have."

"No, you done what you should have, you stayed by Sam's side." John insisted. He knew Dean would blame himself. He felt bad for him, but there was nothing Dean could do to change what happened.

"The girls gone Dean, nothing can change that we need to find what killed her before it kills someone else." He heard Dean snort through the phone.

"You don't care that it was Sam's girl do you? Or the fact that she was carrying your grandchild. You only care about the hunt."

"Of, course I care that it was her" John said "I care more than you ever know."

"Could have fooled me" Dean said before hanging up the phone. He knew John would be irritated by that but Dean couldn't bring himself to care about it. His heart was breaking and it was like John didn't even care that once again their small family was being torn apart. He couldn't wait for Sam to get back; he wanted to know what was going on with him. Despite what John said, Dean didn't believe that Sam was evil. He couldn't be.

John glared at the phone; his son had just hung up on him. They had important matters to discuss and Dean had hung up. They would be talking about it when he got back to the hospital, which would hopefully be soon.

He walked over to his bed and pulled his favorite handgun out from under his pillow. Making sure it was loaded he started for the door. He hoped Dean was right about Sam with all his heart. He really didn't want to kill Sam after getting him back from the brink of death.

As he walked out John just happened to glance back at Sam's room and he saw a substance in the window that he hadn't seen before. Walking over, John reached out and dabbed some on his finger. Smelling it he frowned. It was Sulpher.

"This changes things" John muttered reaching out and grabbing his phone. He dialed Bobby. While he waited for the Bobby to answer. John wondered if it wasn't the yellow eyed demon who had brought Sam back. The thought made him sick to his stomach, especially if any of the rumors he had heard about Sam were right, he would have to kill Sam.

"Singer" Bobby said answering the phone.

"I need you to go back to Sam's apartment" John said "I found something and its going to change the whole case"

"I'm on it" Bobby said "what am I supposed to be looking for?"

"Sulpher" John replied "I found it in the window at Jessica's room."

"That changes things" Bobby said, John smirked having said the exact same thing earlier.

"It sure does" John said "and its starting to make sense, why would a werewolf only go after people Sam knows and cares about. They don't have that ability to distinguish who cares about who."

"What about Sam, shouldn't you be with him right now, since he don't have very much time left?" Bobby asked.

"He's awake" John said shortly.

"That's a good thing right?" Bobby asked wondering what was running through his friends head.

"Maybe not" John replied "if who I thought brought him back Sam will have to die."

"Why because you're afraid he MIGHT be evil?" Bobby asked not liking what he was hearing.

"From what I hear, it's going to more than a might" John said, he knew Bobby didn't think his reasoning but John had to keep people from dying even if it cost him his son.

They said their goodbyes and John left Sam's motel room. He was going to head back to the hospital to see if they knew what was going on with Sam. He knew Dean wouldn't be happy to see him but that was tough.

Twenty minutes later John was at the hospital, and on his way to Sam's room. Opening the door he found Sam was already back in his room, and off the vent. Which was a relief he hated seeing either of his boys on one.

"Sam" John said softly keeping his hand hidden and on his handgun. Dean turned and glared.

"Didn't think you cared enough to even want to be here" Dean snapped.

"Watch your tone" John said turning away from Dean and back to Sam.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, noticing the way Sam just shrugged and didn't verbally answer. John took that as Sam's throat was still bothering him from the vent.

"Has the doc. Been in yet?" he asked filling the awkward silence.

"He will be in a few" Dean replied stiffly noticing that John kept one hand hidden. He had the feeling John had a gun somewhere on him. Hatred for the man filled him. If john thought Dean would just stand by and let him hurt Sam then he had another thing coming.

Five minutes later Dr. Collins strolled through the door, more X-rays in his hand.

"What's going on?" Dean demanded his temper barely below the boiling stage. He knew he shouldn't be so rude, but when it came to Sam; he just didn't care.

"You know we ran a bunch of tests" Dr. Collins began "and we discovered no trace that Sam had ever had an aneurysm" He said.

Dean stared at him in shock; that was the last thing he was expecting.

"What about the tumor?" he asked slowly, curiosity barely in check.

"That's the really confusing part" Dr. Collins said "there is no tumor, we ran scans several hours ago and it was there but now it's not. There's no medical reason for this to be happening"

Twenty minutes later the doctor left the small family to discuss matters.

"Are you here to kill Sam?" Dean asked as soon as the doctor was out of earshot. Sam turned towards his father, fear showing in his eyes, he had just barely escaped death. Now his father wanted to kill him.

"I thought you said you didn't hate me" Sam said tears pricking his eyes; he couldn't stand the thought of his family hating him.

"I don't hate you" John replied, hating himself for even having to do this.

"Then why?" Dean asked the question for his brother, knowing Sam's throat was killing him.

"Because there was nothing natural about the way Sam came back."

Dean rolled his eyes, standing and grabbing John's arm and dragging him into the hall.

"Stay away from Sam, or you're going to be hurting" was all Dean said as he headed back into Sam's room. He still had to tell him about Jessica he just didn't know how too.

John scowled as the door to Sam's room shut and locked. He would have to get around Dean somehow. Sam wouldn't be walking out of this hospital alive. Dean had once chance to prove Sam was the same person he was before any of this happened.

When his phone rang John glanced down and looked at the display. Bobby was calling.

"What did you find out?" John asked in way of greeting.

"You're right; we're not dealing with a werewolf."

AN

Hope you enjoy reading this chapter, Anyways thanks for reading a reviewing as always. I might even be able to post another chapter today, let me know if you want it Liz


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Dean re-entered Sam's room, to find Sam staring forlornly out the window. He felt his heart break knowing things were about to get a million times worse for his brother.

"I thought me and Dad had gotten past all of this" Sam whispered brokenly as if he had sensed his brother coming in the room.

"Sam" Dean sighed "I have some bad news and I have no idea how to tell you" Sam turned his head and looked at his brother.

"This doesn't have anything to do with Dad?" he asked softly he was still pondering how he was going to get out of this situation.

"No, this has to do with Jess" Dean took a deep breath "the werewolf got a hold of her, and she didn't make it." Sam stared at him in shock.

"No, you're lying, Jess is just fine, she's having my baby she has to be okay" Sam insisted steadfastly refusing to believe his brother.

"Why would I lie to you?" Dean asked softly "what good would it do me?"

"You don't want me to be happy that's why you didn't want me to go to school" Sam said, swallowing hard.

"I didn't want you to go to school so you wouldn't have to face this situation you're in now" Dean said feeling himself getting angry. He knew Sam was hurting over their dad but this was crazy he needed to accept his girlfriend was gone.

"I don't understand why are you lying to me?" Sam asked with such a hurt look in his eyes, that Dean just wanted to break down and sob like a little girl.

"I wish you would understand that I'm not lying" Dean said taking his normal seat beside his brother. Sam turned away from Dean, unable to look at his brother.

"Jess is my world, without her I am nothing" Sam mumbled "she wouldn't leave me without saying goodbye"

"Unless she never intended to leave, and something decided it was her time to go." Dean reached out to touch Sam's shoulder but Sam just shrugged him off.

"Sam," Dean said softly "don't be like this, let me help you."

"There is nothing to help" Sam said "I'm fine and Jess is back at the room resting. You will see she's just fine."

Dean sighed and let his hand fall back to his side. His little brother was hurting and Dean just wished he knew how to help him. It didn't help that John was losing his marbles and had decided to take his youngest son out. Sam didn't deserve that and he didn't deserve to have everyone he loved slaughtered so mercilessly.

"I'm here when you're ready to talk" Dean said softly turning to stare out the window. He hadn't imagined things turning out this way. Dean wished Sam had never left for Stanford maybe then none of them would be in this situation.

Twenty minutes later Dean received a phone call from Bobby.

"Have you heard from John, we were supposed to meet up and he never showed up" Bobby asked.

"No" Dean snorted "I'm not interested in knowing where he is right now."

"Sounds like Sam and John pre Stanford" Bobby said "except it's you and John not getting along." Dean rolled his eyes, and got up and walked out of the room.

"Well, Dad started it, by deciding he was going to take Sam out before he knew whether or not Sam was good or evil." Dean explained.

"What makes John think Sam's evil?" Bobby asked wondering if he was going to need to hide the boys.

"The fact that he woke up at all and the tumor and everything is gone" Dean said "I tried to talk him out of thinking like that and you know Dad he's as stubborn as the day is long."

"That's for sure, if you boys need a place to stay you can head to my place while me and John finish this hunt." Bobby said.

"I appreciate it, Bobby" Dean said "we might have to take you up on that offer."

"Have you told Sam about his girlfriend yet?" Bobby asked, he knew Sam was bound to take hard, especially since he had already lost a close friend of his a couple of weeks ago.

"Yeah," Dean said "he doesn't believe me, he thinks I'm lying to him."

"He's in shock, with everything going on with your dad, finding out about his girlfriend probably just added to the stress he was already feeling. Give him time he'll come around" Bobby said knowing that Dean was more than likely feeling pretty badly right about now.

"Something else bothering you?" Bobby asked as if sensing the conflicting emotions Dean was feeling.

"I keep thinking that if I took her back to the motel then maybe I could have done something to save her. It's my fault she's dead. My fault that Sammy is suffering again."

"You couldn't have known it would show up at the motel" Bobby said unsure of whether or not to tell Dean about the werewolf being a demon that had taken Sam's friends out.

"I should have known. Winchesters don't have any kind of good luck, and it seems the bad luck went straight down the line to her." Dean said tears forming in his eyes. He wouldn't let them fall not this time; he didn't deserve to have a release for his pain, not after letting his brother's girl get killed.

They said their goodbyes a few minutes later and Dean headed back into Sam's room. Sam was still staring out the window and Dean wondered as he went back to his seat, if Sam was mad at him. Dean wouldn't blame him if he was after all Sam had every right to be angry. He just hoped that Sam would eventually get over it, because Dean didn't think he would be able to handle it if Sam left again. He hadn't made the smartest move when he cut off contact with Sam the first time. Dean vowed he would never leave again.

"Were you talking to dad?" Sam's quiet voice asked startling Dean out of his thoughts.

"No" Dean replied harshly "I have nothing to say to the man."

"This will pass and then you will be talking to him again in no time" Sam said "You've never been able to stay angry at him for long."

"Well, he's never given me reason before now" Dean replied jumping slightly as the phone beside Sam's bed began to ring. Sam gave Dean a startled look. Who would be calling his room, very few people even knew he was in the hospital.

"Hello" Sam garbled out, his throat still felt like it was on fire.

"If you want your father back alive meet me behind the hospital in the woods. Come alone!"

AN

Thanks for reading and reviewing, . Let me know what your think. I'm also working on another limp Sammy oneshot so hopefully that one will be posted soon. Thanks a bunch Liz.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

WARNING: some cursing.

Sam swallowed hard; it would figure that his father would manage to get himself into trouble. Hanging up the phone, he stared at it and wondered what he should do. He knew what Dean would do, with all the trouble John was causing them, Dean would leave him out to dry, to figure his own way of this mess. Sam was hurt by the fact that John didn't even want to give him a chance to prove he was human, that he came back fine. Dean seemed to think Sam was fine, so why couldn't his father. Sam sighed he knew what he would do and he knew Dean wouldn't understand why; which is exactly why Sam had no intention of telling Dean what he was up too. Sam would prove to his father he was nothing but human, he just had to get past guard dog Dean first.

"Who was that?" Dean asked, he had a bad feeling about the call. It was going to get his brother in more trouble then he was already in.

"Nothing of any importance" Sam said nonchalantly, Dean knew instantly he was lying.

"Let me guess John calling to show his concern?" Dean snorted he was still angry at his father and he meant it when he said if John came back he would be hurt.

"No, why would he be calling he could show up here anytime" Sam replied, not taking his gaze off the window.

"No, he can't come here, I kind of threw him out" Dean said.

"Not your place to do that," Sam replied finally turning back to look at him "I'm the one in the hospital, I should get to chose who gets to come in or not"

"He wants to kill you and you want to see him" Dean snorted "unbelievable."

"He's our father" Sam snapped, his temper beginning to rise. Though most of it was worry about how he was going to get through this latest situation.

"You want to die is that it?" Dean asked ignoring Sam's show of temper.

"Of course not but I want to prove to him that I am still me no matter how strange it was that I came back"

"How you going to do that?" Dean asked curious he could tell his brother was scheming about something and he was going to get to the bottom of it quickly.

"I'll figure something out" Sam retorted frowning, he had a good idea of what he was going to do, and he hoped it was good enough to fool Dean.

"will you go back to the room and get Jess, I really want to see her. She hasn't been here since I woke up" Sam said.

"That's not going to be possible" Dean said softly wishing with all his heart that his brother would just believe him already.

"She can't be dead though" Sam said turning away from Dean once more. "I haven't actually got to propose to her yet"

"And you're not going to either" Dean said starting to feel more than a little frustrated. shock was never easy to deal with.

"why do you insist she's dead?" Sam asked "do you not want me to be happy?"

"Of course I do" Dean exclaimed "I told you because it's the truth and you need to know." Sam turned and glared at Dean.

"I'm tired of you lying to me, get the hell away from me." Sam snapped the stress of the situation finally getting to him. "I don't want you near me right now."

"Fine" Dean snapped back harshly "find somebody else to babysit your lazy ass."

"How am I lazy?" Sam growled "I'm recovering in the hospital it's not like I have a choice of being here."

"Whatever" Dean muttered standing up and stalking towards the door. "Don't call when you get lonely or somebody comes in to shoot you." Sam glared at Dean's back as his older brother left.

"That was easy" Sam muttered, he wasn't angry with his brother, he really did wish Dean would stop lying about Jessica though. It was getting kind of old hearing that your girlfriend and unborn child was dead.

He hoped his plan would prove to his father he was human if not then this whole thing would be a waste of time. He had one shot and one shot only so Sam knew he couldn't blow it. He only wished he could trust Dean on this mission, but he couldn't besides the person had said to come alone and so he would.

Sam sighed and staggered out of bed, his plan was now in motion and there would be no stopping him now. He quickly pulled on the plain clothes he had paid his nurse to bring him and then slipped out into the hallway. Instead of taking an elevator down, Sam chose to take the stair, knowing he was less likely to get spotted by any of the nurses. Once he cleared the stairs, Sam made a beeline for the exit.

After walking out the exit, Sam looked behind him to make sure he wasn't being followed then walked towards the woods behind the hospital. He was feeling nervous; he knew nothing about the situation he was going into and he didn't like the feeling. With all the hunts he had participated in; he had been well prepared. Not this time, this time he felt naked and so very unprepared. But he knew he had to get his father out of trouble, Sam loved him no matter what John thought of him and he hoped this would prove it. Sam was so lost in thought he didn't notice the slim tall figure of his brother slip in behind him.

Once he arrived at his destination he found his father on his knees with his hands tied behind his back. John looked up surprised this was the last thing he expected from his youngest especially after John had vowed to take him out.

"So the young Sammy Winchester, decided to show up after all" a man stepped out from a tree he had been watching from.

"I'm here let him go" Sam demanded more bravely then he felt at the moment.

"You really want me to let the guy who wants to kill you loose?" he laughing asked.

"He's my father, of course I do" Sam said, taking a disliking to this man.

"The only way I will let him go is if you come with me" the man demanded.

"What do you want with me?" Sam asked curiously, he had never seen this man before, so what did he want with him.

"It's not me that wants you but my boss" the demon said nonchalantly.

"Fine" Sam said "let him go" but just as Sam declared this his brother was pushed out from behind him. Another demon was holding a gun on Dean.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing here?" Sam demanded "I told you to go back to the motel."

"I knew you were up to something" Dean said "and I wasn't about to let you do it alone. Why you want to bail him out of trouble is beyond me" he added nodding his head towards John.

"I didn't tell you anything because I knew you wouldn't understand. I have my reasons for what I do" Sam said turning back to the demon in charge.

"This nulls our deal" he said "you were told to come alone"

"I didn't know he followed me" Sam said.

"Too bad" the lead demon walked over to Dean and took his gun.

"Think I'll kill him using your gun" he smirked and walked back towards John.

Dean scowled and then shrugged.

"Go right ahead, I don't care. It seems Sam is going enough of that for the both of us."

The demon cocked the gun and was about to press it to John's temple; when Sam rushed forward, as he went to knock the gun out of the demons hand, the demon swung around and unexpectedly the gun went off, sending a bullet plunging into the depths of Sam's chest.

Sam felt the bullet and he gasped in shock as he fell to his knees. He reached up and pressed his hand against the wound, gasping in pain as he tried to apply pressure.

Dean wanted to scream in horror, as he watched his brother fall as if slow motion this couldn't be happening. Why did everything go wrong for them and why was Sam the one that always paid the price for someone else's mistakes.

Suddenly out of nowhere Bobby came rushing through the trees, spouting off an latin exorcism. Within moments Dean was free and rushing to his brother's side. Grabbing a hold of Sam Dean gently removed Sam's own hand and replaced it with his.

"You're going to be okay, Sammy, I won't let you go." Sensing someone moving, Dean looked up and saw Bobby had cut John free.

"You bastard, if we lose him, I'll make sure you're the one having a bullet removed."

AN

Poor Sammy can't ever catch a break, please don't kill me. trust me when I say its not a deathfic for Sam. Anyways thanks for reading and reviewing. I am going to try and finish it this weekend so hopefully I can get the rest posted next week. Thanks again Liz


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Dean held onto Sam tightly, his heart constricting with each painful breath taken by his brother. He had to get Sam out of here, otherwise they risked him bleeding to death and Dean wasn't about to chance that.

"Dean, let me help?" John asked coming closer to where his boys were kneeling on the ground.

"Come any closer and I will shoot you myself" Dean growled slipping easily into protective older brother mode. "I will take care of Sammy"

"Dean" Sammy moaned, as a wave of agony clawed its way through him. "Help me please, it hurts so bad."

"Don't worry, Sammy I'm getting you out of here if I have to carry you all the way back. You're going to be just fine." Dean hated that Sam was hurting, hated that Sam felt he had to prove he was still human, and not some evil creature.

Dean stood to his feet slowly and gently tugged Sam up with him. He glared at John as he once again attempted to help get Sam up.

"Back off" Dean snarled catching Sam as he began to fall. Dean pulled the weak man into his arms, in a fireman's carry. Bobby approached then having finished getting rid of the hosts the demons had been using.

"What can I do to help?" he asked feeling his heart break at the painful mewling sounds Sam was making.

"You can help by keeping that monster away" Dean said nodding towards his father.

Bobby looked at John, who was now openly glaring at Dean.

"You can't keep me from my own son, you know" John commented.

"Watch me, "Dean said turning around and stalking towards the road.

John started after him but Bobby grabbed his arm.

"Dean, tells me you want to shoot Sam just because he made it through this mess alive?" Bobby asked.

"He wasn't supposed to live" John snapped "so obviously something supernatural brought him back and whatever it was can't be good."

"If Sam was evil would he have saved your ass?" Bobby said feeling like shooting the stubborn man himself. John glared at him.

"Probably just to kill me later, besides you don't know what I know about him."

"I know that boy cares about you way more than he should" Bobby said as the two men began making their way out of the woods.

"Why are you even here?" John asked "no one told you anything about tonight"

"Dean called told me that him and Sam had gotten into it and he had the feeling Sam was just pushing him away because he was planning on doing something Sam didn't want Dean involved in. it's a good thing Dean did call me." Bobby stated steering John towards the truck he had parked on the side of the road.

Dean managed to carry Sam back to the hospital, despite the fact his arms were growing tired with each step he took. His heart broke hearing his brother's soft cries of pain with every step he took. He wished with all his heart he could take it away.

"Hang on Sammy, we're almost there" Dean said softly.

"It's Sam, not Sammy" Sam muttered weakly, he was ready to pass out but he was determined to stay awake so he wouldn't worry his brother anymore than he already was.

Dean chuckled softly, his brother was a stubborn bastard, but at the moment Dean was never more thankful for it than he was now. His brother's stubbornness was keeping him alive.

Upon entering the ER entrance a nurse seeing the injured man in Dean's arms rushed towards him towing a gurney behind her. Dean lay the barely conscious Sam upon it.

"Stay with me Sammy, please" Dean pleaded as he watched his brother get rushed away. _I don't want to lose you, not after you just came back to me. _Dean thought as he sat down in a hard plastic chair in the waiting room. Tears formed in his eyes as Dean remembered the painful mewling sounds coming from his brother, on the way back to the hospital.

"Why, Sammy" Dean muttered "why did you feel the need to save a man who wants to kill you?"

"Because Sammy cares about his family" Bobby said and Dean looked up. "He wouldn't be Sammy if he didn't always wear his heart out on his sleeve."

"Where's John?" Dean asked and Bobby raised his eyebrow. The situation must be pretty serious if Dean was on a first name basis with his father.

"I dropped him back at the motel, told him if he came near the hospital, I would shoot him" Bobby said sitting down in the empty chair beside Dean.

Dean smirked and stared down at his bloody hands.

"He's managing to make everyone angry" he muttered "I wish he would understand that Sam coming back to us is a good thing."

"You're father's stubborn, much like Sam is" Bobby said "he has one mindset and that's if you're dead you don't come back the same."

"Sam wasn't dead yet" Dean said "he didn't have much time left but he was still alive."

"You have to admit, Sam recovering the way he did is pretty suspicious" Bobby said and Dean looked up at him.

"You don't just have terminal brain cancer and then have it disappear into thin air without it being done supernaturally" Bobby commented.

"I know it was supernatural" Dean said "I just don't believe Sammy's evil, he more than proved it by saving that worthless ass." Bobby chuckled. Dean was highly pissed at their father and it looked like it was going to be quiet a while before he got over it.

"Are you planning on staying angry at your father forever?" Bobby asked.

"He screwed up by telling me he was going to kill Sammy" Dean said softly "that's not something that gets forgiven."

"I bet Sammy's already forgiven your father." Bobby said.

"Well, I'm not Sammy, and I won't forgive him for making that mistake."

"I see you also have a healthy dose of Winchester stubbornness" Bobby commented and Dean just shrugged. His thoughts drifting back to Sam.

"I'll be back in a few minutes I'm going to go get us some wake up juice" Bobby said standing up and heading down the hallway towards the cafeteria. He didn't see John walk up to Dean.

"Do you know anything about Sam?" he asked quietly, he knew Dean was angry at him but he figured it couldn't last forever. Dean's head snapped up and he glared at John.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean snapped jumping to his feet.

"I have the right to know how my son's doing" John said.

"You lost that right the moment you decided he had to die" Dean snapped, as his fist found its way to John's mouth.

AN

So what did you think? Good, bad, horrible? Let me know and as always thanks for reading and reviewing. And I am pondering changing my penname just so you are aware. Liz


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Bobby had just returned from the cafeteria when he saw Dean let John have it.

"Stupid fool" he muttered before rushing over and pulling Dean off of him.

"Let me go, Bobby, I told him not to show his face here" Dean was struggling against the hold Bobby had on him.

"You think you're doing Sam any good by getting yourself thrown out" Bobby asked. "You can't protect your brother by getting tossed out."

Dean continued to glare at John but he stopped struggling.

"Get him out of here then and I'll be just fine." He muttered as Bobby released him and Dean went back to his seat. Bobby turned to John.

"I told you myself to stay away from here," Bobby thundered "I didn't tell you just to be hearing myself speak."

"I don't care what you told me, I want to know how Sam is." John snapped back.

"Why so you can finish him off?" Dean asked "I'm surprised you didn't thank the demons for doing the job you're trying to do."

John turned to look at Dean, he opened his mouth to say something, but Dean sent him a death glare and he shut his mouth and turned around and walked out the door.

"He'll be back" Dean said "he's not smart enough to stay away." He looked back down at the floor. He hoped Sam was doing okay, he didn't deserve for this to happen.

"Probably" Bobby agreed "where do you think your stubbornness came from?"

"I would prefer to think that it didn't come from him" Dean replied looking up when he heard footsteps heading their way. He felt his stomach really start to churn as he watched Dr. Collins approach them.

"How is he?" Dean asked once the doctor was in front of them.

"He's going to live" Dr. Collins said "but it was very close, half an inch to the left; Sam wouldn't be here now. The bullet while it missed his heart pierced his lung, so we have him on a ventilator to give his lung proper time to heal, with time and rest Sam should make a full recovery" Dean had to swallow hard at hearing how close he had came to permanently losing his little brother.

"That's a relief, now just got to keep his father from killing him" Dean muttered under his breath.

"Also, try and make sure to keep him here in the hospital, moving around will only aggravate his injuries further." Dr. Collins said the family stood and followed him down the back to Sam's room.

"I should have seen Sam's anger for what it was" Dean muttered walking into Sam's room, nearly losing his breath at seeing his brother lying limply on the bed, with a long clear tube protruding from his mouth. Walking over Dean sat down in the chair beside the bed and reached out and gently wrapped his fingers around his brother's limp hand. "He was using it as a distraction to get me away so he could go after that worthless piece of crap."

Bobby walked over and sat down in the other chair beside Sam's bed, relieved to know the youngest Winchester would make it.

"That's sounds like Sam, twice as stubborn as you and you're father, he pushed you away because he loves his father and didn't think John should pay a price Sam was supposed to pay." Bobby said, fondness for the two boys warming his heart.

"If it was me, I would have let him die after everything he's done to Sam the man doesn't deserve to live." Dean said sighing. He was tired and stressed but he wasn't about to leave his brother's side. Not with John still out there, willing to go to any length to kill Sam.

"Why don't you go back to your room and get some rest you won't be any good to Sam if you're dead on your feet" Bobby suggested knowing Dean wouldn't go through with it.

"No" Dean said firmly "Nobody but me is any good at protecting Sammy and even I haven't been doing too well with that lately."

"Could you have predicted your brother sneaking out to go play superman to save your father." Bobby asked seriously.

"Yes," Dean snorted "the little shit cares too much for his own good, his heart is about twenty times too big for him," Bobby chuckled that sounded about right to him. Sam loved everyone he met probably a little too much. Dean rubbed the back of Sam's gently with his thumb. He wouldn't have Sam be any other way, the world needed more people like Sam. Dean's shoulders slumped, their situation was really starting to weigh on him, his stomach was turning again, felt like he was going to be sick at any moment. Dean leaned forward and lay his head down on Sam's bed, groaning softly.

"You really ought to leave Sam to me, you know I can handle your father should he come back." Bobby said, knowing Dean wasn't feeling all that well.

"Like I said" Dean muttered "No one can protect him as well as I can."

Bobby sighed and rubbed at his beard, there had to be a way to get around Dean's stubbornness. Bobby looked up at the heart monitor, glad to hear the steady beep that let them know Sam's heart was going strong.

"Sam's strong" Dean murmured softly, glancing up at Bobby. "His heart may be way too big, but its strong."

"I don't doubt that" Bobby said "He had to be strong to defy your father and go off to college." Dean frowned that didn't bring back happy memories.

"I wasn't happy about him leaving" Dean said "But I was damn proud, he got a scholarship considering we moved so much when he was in school. I'm sorry I never told him that."

"I'm sure that deep down Sam knew you were proud of him, he's a very intuitive person after all" Bobby said. Dean was still frowning, he lacked Bobby's confidence that Sam knew.

"What about Jessica what's going to be done about her?" Dean asked voicing the thought that had been bothering him for the past few hours.

"Her funerals tomorrow," Bobby said and Dean scowled.

"Sam won't be nearly recovered enough to attend, one of us will go for him" Dean said "as much as I want to attend protecting Sammy's higher on my priority list right now."

"You know I will go, it's a shame I didn't get to meet her, she sounded like a nice girl."

"She was, she was great" Dean said "most importantly of course she loved Sam, for that she will always hold a place in my heart."

"It's nice that Sam found a girl who accepted him for who he was" Bobby commented.

"I don't think he ever told her the truth about himself however, I'm curious to know if he would have eventually" Bobby was about to reply when both men heard a scuffling noise behind them and they turned to see a very angry John Winchester standing in the doorway holding a knife to a nurses neck.

AN

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Next week I will only be posting once. Thanks for reading Liz.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Dean froze he had expected John to come back but not this soon. John having taken a hostage only proved how desperate he was to get to Sam, John knew Dean didn't want anyone hurt just cause of him. Dean glanced at Bobby, things were about to get ugly, somebody was going down.

"Figures you would be stupid enough to show your face again" Dean said standing up, "but you should know you're not getting anywhere near Sam."

"Even if it means the civilian gets hurt?" John questioned, he knew Dean was protective of Sam, hell, he was the one who had ingrained it into the man to always take care of Sam.

"I would rather that not happen" Dean said "but so be it" he had no intention of letting the nurse get hurt. "You forget you tough me how to fight, taking you down won't be hard and plus your outnumbered"

Bobby was scowling, he knew he should have kicked John's butt when he'd had the chance, he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"You're protecting a demon, I have you know" John stated "all demons are evil no matter what they tell you."

"Sam is no more demon than me or Dean" Bobby said "I can't believe you even think that about Sam after all he has suffered through recently."

"A demon told me he had plans for Sam, and children like him. He has to be stopped before they come to fruition."

Dean snorted and Bobby barked out a laugh.

"A demon told you Sam was evil and you believed him" Dean said "what's wrong with that picture. You can never trust a demon."

"Why don't you go after the demon who is responsible instead of taking it out on your son?" Bobby asked. Getting up and standing beside Dean and blocking John's view of the helpless boy on the bed.

"Too much time, I barely have any info on the yellow eyed bastard" John growled "it's best to take Sam out before he turns into that monster."

Dean growled low in his throat, the more John talked the angrier he got.

"Get out I won't tell you again" Dean ordered "and let her go."

John smirked and pressed the knife closer to the woman's throat.

"Why don't you come and make me then?" John asked, knowing if it came to fighting against Dean he would lose.

Dean closed his eyes briefly they didn't have time to keep circling each other, this situation needed an end and somehow Dean knew it wouldn't end peacefully.

"So be it" Dean muttered charging his father, Dean reached out and grabbed the hand that held the knife, with his free hand he was able to pull the nurse away from his father. Shoving her away, Dean aimed a high kick for his father.

The kick was well aimed and knocked the breath out of John causing him to lose his grip on the knife. Dean reached over and grabbed the knife tossing it to Bobby.

"Go get security" Dean ordered "I've got him under control." Once Bobby had left the room in a rush. Dean kicked his father again, just as hard as the first time.

"You're not getting near my Sammy" Dean growled, making sure the man stayed on the ground. Hearing a noise from his brother, Dean turned towards Sam, not seeing his father reach towards his boot and pull out another knife.

"Sammy" Dean said softly "it's nice to see you open your eyes." When Sam's eyes went wide in terror Dean whirled around to see John coming at him with a knife. Dean moved out of his path but not before the knife sunk deep into his shoulder. Dean moaned he was going to kill this man and Bobby too if he didn't hurry up.

"You're not getting Sam" Dean muttered throwing a punch towards John's mouth, barely grazing it.

"You should never have turned your back on me boy" John said "you never turn your back to an armed opponent, I thought I taught your better than that,"

"Everybody makes mistakes" Dean ground out, his shoulder throbbing. "But it doesn't matter I'll last long enough to keep Sammy safe."

"Right" John smirked Dean was steadily growing weaker from blood loss, he wouldn't be around much longer. He hated to hurt him but Sam needed to get taken out before he could be used by the evil spawn.

Dean could feel himself getting worse, he needed to finish this man off.

"Enough talk" Dean said throwing another punch in John's direction, John sidestepped it easily.

"You're too slow, due to blood loss, if you let me take out Sam now you can get help, you don't have to die protecting a demon." John said as Dean sunk to his knees.

"He's not a demon he's my little brother, and yes if it calls for it, I will die for him" Dean murmured as the darkness encroached on his vision. He couldn't pass out now, Sam needed him, needed him to keep him alive.

"After everything you think Sam is still your brother, I told you, you lost your brother to the tumor, he came back an evil spawn."

"If that's so true" Dean said tiredly "why is he still in the hospital last I checked demons didn't hospitals to recover from wounds."

"He's different for some reason" John said walking past Dean "something about him makes him different but he's still evil."

Dean watched helplessly as John raised his knife over Sam's heart. He closed his eyes and hoped Bobby would get there shortly. _I've failed _Dean thought _I have failed to protect the most important person in my life, Sam's death is on my hands now. Dean closed his eyes and collapsed limply onto the floor._

As if in answer to his prayer Bobby came barreling into the room with the security guards right behind him. Seeing what John was about to do, Bobby crossed the room and yanked John's arm back just as the knife grazed Sam's skin.

"You stupid ass" Bobby swore as he held the man until the guards could get John in handcuffs.

"You hurt both your boys, if I ever see you again; you better pray I'm not armed." He hissed low enough for John to hear but not loud enough for the guards to hear.

Once John was taken away, Bobby turned towards Dean to find the man lying unconscious in a growing pool of blood. Something wasn't right, there shouldn't be this much blood for just one injury. If Dean didn't get help fast, he would die.

AN

Surprised? What did you think? Was it too horrible? Anyways thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Bobby kneeled down beside Dean, on the dirty floor while at the same time yelling out the door for help. He gently turned Dean over onto his back. He couldn't help the shudder that ran through him at the sight of blood that was slowly seeping from the wound in Dean's shoulder but Bobby noticed there was another injury pumping life containing blood from Dean's side also. Bobby wondered how Dean had gotten that one because surely John hadn't caused it. He never thought John would hurt his boys now, he had been proved wrong.

Bobby was unaware of the nurses pushing him away to get to Dean; he was focused on how he was going to get the boys away from this mess. Because there were no prison walls strong enough to hold John Winchester, there was no doubt as soon as he was free; he'd would be after Sam again and Bobby couldn't allow that. Bobby blinked when he heard scuffling and looked and noticed the nurses and a couple of orderlies had already placed Dean on a gurney and was rolling him out of the room.

"Will you tell me what happens with him?" Bobby asked as all nurses but one left the room.

"Of course," the red headed woman stated "I can see how much you care for these boys and wouldn't want harm to come to them." Bobby nodded and turned back to the other nurse who was looking at the wound above Sam's heart.

"Looked like the knife only grazed him" Gracie said "didn't cause any major damage."

"That's a relief that's the last thing these boys need" Bobby said watching her tape down a piece of gauze over the wound.

"He didn't even need stitches so it should heal quite nicely."

"Thank you" Bobby stated firmly as he took his seat beside Sam's side once more.

"For what?" Gracie asked "I'm only doing my job."

"For taking such good care of Sam, stubborn idgit" Bobby said "he doesn't always take very good care of himself, leaving the hospital like he did, without telling anyone where he was going is a prime example."

Gracie chuckled as she started making sure Sam's IV lines were working properly. She ran her fingers down the tubing making sure there were no tears in the tubing and did the same with the bags. The last thing she done was check the tube protruding from Sam's mouth, making sure it was still secure. Once she had finished with that, she went on to check his vitals.

Bobby watched how gentle she was with Sam; she was obviously very comfortable with what she was doing. He was glad Sam's nurse was so gentle. He hoped Dean would have Gracie as well, seeing as how she was such an awesome nurse. Knowing Dean however, he would be flirting with the young woman, seeing she was around his age, and most certainly his type of woman. Bobby had a feeling he would have a time getting Dean to leave after all was said and done.

"Sam should be starting to wake up soon" Gracie said "we've lowered his sedation, so it won't be too long before he can get rid of the vent as well. I know how much he loves it." Bobby snorted. Sam loving the vent, not very likely. Gracie smirked; she liked this man, while on the outside he seemed hard, and tough, on the inside he was like a teddy bear. She seen it by the way he acted towards the young man who had been placed in her care. She had never seen a gentler, loving man in her life. The way he cared about her charge made her think this man was the real father, instead of the deranged man that had came in earlier.

"Wonder what's going on with Dean?" Bobby wondered out loud his hat off to scratch at his head. "Sam wakes up and he's not here, he's not going to be very happy." He knew this to be true, especially when Sam had been younger, and sick, he had never been happy to not have Dean by his side. If people thought Sam was grumpy all the time now, they hadn't seen him then.

"I'll find out what's going on, and tell you as soon as I know anything" Gracie said as she finished what she had been doing in the room and headed off to see her next patient.

An hour later a still unconscious Dean was rolled into the room and placed on the bed next to Sam. Bobby was glad to see that they had gotten rid of the bloody shirt he had been wearing, the sight of it had nearly made Bobby sick, and that didn't happen very often.

Dr. Collins entered the room a few minutes later; he shook his at the two sleeping brothers.

"These two can't stay out of trouble can they?" he asked Bobby.

"Nope" Bobby replied "No matter where they go trouble always seems to find them."

"Well, Dean is going to have to stay out of trouble or its going to kill him" Dr. Collins stated bluntly. "the shoulder wound wasn't too bad, but the injury to his side caused internal bleeding, he was lucky it was found, another hour or so and he would be dead and buried."

"What side injury are you talking about?" Bobby asked the only one I saw was the one in the shoulder?"

"He must have been hiding it then" Dr. Collins said "it was even with his stomach, I can see how you would have missed, he was wearing a jacket, so it was very easily hidden."

"When he wakes up I'm going to send him to his grave" Bobby grumbled "damn idgit, he knows not to hide an injury even if he does want to see his brother."

"Dean needs plenty of rest and fluids, if he takes it easy, he'll be okay. But he better not pull a stunt like Houdini over there" Dr. Collins said nodding at Sam "He needs to stay here for at least a week."

"You know I will make sure they will" Bobby stated "they won't pull another stunt like that again, especially since it nearly killed the both of them."

Both doctor and Bobby turned when the heard a gagging sound coming from the bed closest to the door. Looking up they Noticed Sam's eyes were starting to open slowly.

"Settle down Sam," Bobby said "You're in the hospital AGAIN, but this time it's going to take some time to recover."

Sam stared at Bobby and he sighed at Sam's silent _where's Dean?_

"You see there was a bit of altercation between John and your brother and Dean got hurt" Bobby said seeing the worry in his eyes when he'd said Dean was hurt.

"He'll be alright, eventually" Bobby muttered not really wanting to go into details with the still very injured younger Winchester. Sam still feeling incredibly weak decided he had heard enough and for the time being was going back to sleep, so he could deal with things properly later. He had the feeling he would be kicking Dean's ass for getting himself hurt trying to protect him again. He inhaled as much air as could with the help of the ventilator then closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep once more.

Bobby sighed at least it hadn't been much of a freak out on Sam's part. Turning back to Dean, he looked at the bandaged chest and hated himself for leaving and letting him get hurt in the first place.

"He'll be okay, his shoulder only took ten stitches to close while the one on his side took near twenty, he's going to be pretty sore for a while but I imagine that won't keep him down very long" Dr. Collins said noticing the worried look in Bobby's eyes.

"You're right about that, I figure they'll be in trouble again shortly after getting released."

"The quiet life doesn't suit them does it?" Dr. Collins asked and Bobby shook his head no.

"As soon as their released I'm taking them and disappearing, their father will be in jail awhile so when he gets out, he won't know where to look for them."

"Any idea about why their father would try and kill them in the first place?" Dr. Collins asked.

"I have a few, and none of them are very good" Bobby said. "and if I told you, you wouldn't believe me trust me." He definitely thought there was something wrong with John be it demonic possession or a shapeshifter, he was leaning towards the latter cause why would another demon try to kill Sam, when he was supposedly special to the demons. He just had to get close enough to John with silver and his theory would either be proved or disproved, but the boy's health came first before any of that. He had to make sure they were safe and away from harm.

AN

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. Love you guys (and girls) Your AWESOME thanks for taking the time to review! Liz


	23. Chapter 23

I'm already gone

Chapter 23

**Here's the real chapter 23, sorry everyone for the confusion explanation in AN at end of chapter. **

Sam lay awake and silent, the vent had finally been removed, and he had yet to actually speak because his throat was still sore from having the tube down his throat. He looked over at Dean who finally looked like he was getting some rest. After all he had spent the time he was supposed to be resting, mother henning Sam to death. Finally Bobby had made the elder Winchester see sense if one could actually do that. Guess you couldn't stop an older brother from worrying himself grey headed. Sam wouldn't have to be here much longer, his wounds were healing nicely, and so far there was no sign of infection. Hearing a soft snore coming from the chair between the two beds, Sam smiled Bobby was wearing himself out trying to make sure the Winchester's were well protected. Sam sighed this whole situation was really starting to wear on them, and Sam couldn't help but feel it was his fault. If he hadn't gotten sick in the first place then none of this would be happening right now.

"Don't even think like it's your fault" A sleepy voice came from the bed beside him and Sam blinked. It was just like Dean to be able to practically read his mind.

"It is my fault" Sam croaked "if I hadn't gotten sick, you guys wouldn't be here, I could have taken care of the werewolf myself."

"Bullshit" Dean muttered sitting up in the bed, wincing at the pull of stitches in his side.

"Lay back down before you hurt yourself any further" Sam said scowling. It was also like Dean to hurt himself worse just to make sure that Sam was alright"

"How about both you boys hush and get some rest" Bobby said opening his eyes.

Sam sighed and turned to look out the window, his heart was breaking because he was starting to realize he had really lost his future wife and child. Tears filled his eyes as he thought about the memories he had shared with her. He could still see her beautiful face in his mind's eye. Sam wanted desperately to be able to reach out and caress her face just like he used before he would kiss her lips. Before he realized it Sam was openly sobbing, his girl was gone and so was his baby.

Dean had just settled back into his bed and was staring boredly at the ceiling, and wondering if their was any way they could get the tv tune into a porn channel. When he was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of Sam sobbing. Dean sat up alarmed and looked over at his brother, the sight broke his heart. Sam lay on his side sobbing into his pillow. Throwing his feet over the side of the bed, Dean slowly stood to his feet, and despite the pain in his side, he made his way to Sam's side. Gently, Dean placed his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Their gone" Sam sobbed quietly "they shouldn't be gone."

"I know" Dean said gently, his heart breaking even more with every cry that Sam made. "You're strong and with me by your side, you're going to make it through this."

"You're not going to leave me?" Sam asked looking at his brother, through red, swollen eyes. Dean frowned.

"Of course not, why would I?" Dean questioned. Sam shrugged not wanting to voice his fear. Neither boys noticed Bobby slipping quietly out of the room.

"I'm serious, when I say, as long as you need me, I'm going to be here" Dean said as he watched the tears slide down Sam's face. "You're my little brother, I will never leave you in your time of need."

"Thanks, Dean" Sam said softly, raising his hand to wipe the tears from his eyes. He wouldn't have been able to do this in front of John without his father telling him he was weak.

"Don't mention it" Dean said softly groaning as a sharp pain raced through his side. Sam watched Dean worriedly, as the older man made his way back to his own bed. Sam hated seeing the pain on his brother's face, especially since he was the reason it was there in the first place.

"There you go again" Dean said as he lay down on his bed. "when are you going to learn to stop blaming yourself for the things that are not in your control?"

"When you stop being a mother hen" Sam muttered rolling back onto his back. The pain was still heavy on his heart but he knew Dean was right, he would make sure Sam made it through this situation okay. If it was one thing he didn't do, it was doubting his brother.

Bobby had slid out into the hallway to allow the boys to talk. Sam was in desperate need for this conversation. Things couldn't continue the way they were without Sam making himself even sicker. He walked down to the cafeteria to grab some coffee. He was unsure of how long to leave them alone, knowing how Dean was with chick flick moments it probably wouldn't take long for him to finish what he needed to say, then again with Sam, it could take ages. Bobby sighed and found a seat and sat down. He was hoping this situation would be resolved quickly but it didn't look like it would be.

Feeling his phone buzzing in his pocket, Bobby reached in and pulled it.

"Singer here" he said.

"It's Rufus, I think I know what you're after" he said.

"And?" Bobby asked feeling grumpier by the second.

"It is indeed a shapeshifter" Rufus replied, knowing his friend was getting impatient.

"and how do you know?" Bobby asked "After all John was positive it was a demon and look how that turned out."

"I found its lair, with peeled skin everywhere but John is nowhere to be found?" Rufus replied.

"Damn" Bobby muttered, he was wondering if he should fill the boys in on what he was finding out.

"You might want to be prepared to tell the boys their father is dead, if we don't find him soon."

"At this point they don't know it's a shapeshifter" Bobby said "they won't care what happens to him, Dean's going to need solid proof that it wasn't really John doing all of that to Sam."

"Then I guess you better tell them soon because I have the feeling we are going to need their help to find him. No telling what the monster done to him."

"You can start at the police station but at this point it could be anybody" Bobby commented. "it might be next to impossible to find if it shed bodies again."

"Yep, our job just got that much harder" Rufus said "I wish I had me some Johnny walker blue right about now."

"Thanks for the intel" Bobby said "I'll get back with you later after I talk to the boys about this whole mess." Hanging up the phone, Bobby finished his coffee and stood he had no idea how to bring this kind of news to the boys but he knew one thing. Dean wasn't going to be very happy. He just hoped he would be able to convince him to even search for the man. He also hoped it wouldn't be too late for John and they didn't find him dead.

**AN**

**Sorry for the long wait and and for reposting chapter 15 never meant to do that but I have been under a ton of stress lately, enough that its starting to make me sick so forgive me for doing that, totally unintentional, the reviews are still much appreciated and as always thanks for taking the time to read and review. If your into praying, please remember me because I have some serious family issues going on right now and I really need prayer, and also please forgive me if I don't continue with weekly updates due to said issues. Thanks so much. Liz.**


	24. Chapter 24

I'm already gone

Chapter 24

Dean Winchester was currently lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling. Sam had cried himself to sleep, exhausted after so many emotions being dealt with at once. It seemed that Sam finally accepted that Jessica was gone, and now Dean was left with his thoughts. Their father had finally been arrested but considering how creative the man could be, Dean didn't think the jail cell would hold him long. Then John would be back on their trail again and while they were in the hospital they were sitting ducks. They had to get out before John decided to show his face again. Sam didn't need to deal with any more stress considering what he was dealing with now.

As Dean was contemplating possible escape routes Bobby Singer walked back into the room.

"Dean, we have a problem" Bobby stated knowing he had Dean's full attention.

"Our current problem is sitting in a jail cell right now" Dean replied.

"Not anymore he's not" Bobby said as Dean sighed in silent acceptance. Winchester luck had decided to show its face again. " besides I wouldn't call that thing your father."

"You're right after everything he has done to Sam, he doesn't deserve to be called dad" Dean said scowling harder at the ceiling. Bobby noticed and thought _if _looks_ could bring down walls we would all be dead right about now. _

"The person making all the attacks, if you can call it a person, is not John Winchester and is in fact a shape shifter" Bobby said seeing confusion in Dean's eyes.

"I guess that makes sense considering the personality changes since we got here in Palo Alto" Dean remarked. "What bothers me is how the hell did John fricking Winchester get caught by a shape shifter?"

"That is a good question but one we don't exactly have time to answer right now" Bobby said "the shifter is on the loose again, it got out by impersonating one of the cops, they found the skin in the cell."

"And nobody thought that in the tiniest bit weird" Dean muttered. "That's lovely the shifter could be anybody by now considering how fast it can shed skin."

"Yeah, Rufus found its lair it's not the cop anymore either, we have no idea who it is now impersonating." Bobby said.

"Which means we needed to get the hell out of here like yesterday" Dean grumbled, his side still hurt like a bitch and he wasn't so sure how moving Sam right now would affect him. "It's always nice to know our luck shows at the worst possible time"

"Sam's healing fast but I don't think he should be moved right now" Dean said looking over at his sleeping brother.

"You stay here you're looking at the possibility of your brother getting murdered in his sleep" Bobby said, wishing things didn't have to be this way.

"Where is the real John Winchester?" Dean asked, his curiosity peaked.

"Don't know Rufus is looking into it but at this point John is probably dead." Bobby hated the look he saw in Dean's eyes. He knew no matter what happened, Dean would always worship his father.

"Besides that doesn't matter what does is getting Sam out of here without any supernatural stalkers on our ass." Bobby said.

"Alright grumpy" Dean muttered "but you get to wake sleeping beauty." He slowly sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed, wincing as the movement pulled at his side.

"Son of a bitch" he muttered as he still long enough for the pain to ease. He watched as Bobby walked over to Sam and place his hand gently on the youngest Winchesters shoulder. Bobby shook him gently and Sam opened his eyes to glare at the older hunter.

"Hate to do this to you Sammy" Bobby said "but we got to get out of here." Sam just sighed, evil beings weren't known to wait and let you recover before they decided to try and take you out. Sam sat up slowly, testing to see how well his chest injury would take it. Once he was sure it wouldn't hurt too badly, Sam began pulling needles out of his arms.

"I hate to say it's time to hit the road" Dean spoke up from where he was currently getting dressed, not caring if anyone could see him or not. "I know how much you like staying in this four star hotel." Sam snorted before scowling at his brother.

"I'm not the one who has enjoyed the stay here; you're the one hitting on all the nurses."

"I can't help it if this is the only hospital in the world with such a fine assortment of hot nurses" Dean remarked smirking at the classic bitchface expression Sam currently wore.

"Dude grow up" Sam muttered as Bobby pushed a wheelchair over to the bed, and Sam lowered himself into it.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sammy but I am a fully grown man."

"You're a child in an adult's body" Sam muttered loud enough for Dean to here.

"How about you too continue this conversation once we're on the road" Bobby suggested. He had to admit he was worried; the shifter had plenty of time to turn into someone else.

"Bobby, just doesn't know how to have fun" Dean teased breaking out into a full out grin at the scowl on the family friend's face.

"Am I the only one worried about the current situation?" Bobby asked.

"Of course not" Dean said "but every serious situation needs a little humor."

"Say that when you have Mr. freak on your ass" Bobby muttered ready to knock some sense into the elder Winchester brother.

"I think Dean needs a wheelchair too" Sam said as a blanket was dropped onto Sam's lap.

"I'll be just fine without the wheel chair Sir lives in the hospital a lot" Dean griped. Bobby rolled his eyes again. How did John put up with these boys?

"Idjits, we really do need to get out of here" Bobby said.

"Lead the way with gimpy" Dean smirked.

"Jerk" Sam rolled his eyes and muttered.

"Bitch" Dean replied.

**AN  
>so I was going to end the story with this chapter but I decided to add a little more drama (coming up) and the search for John in this story instead of doing a sequel. So there are another several chapters coming up. Sorry it took so long to add this one; I have had pneumonia and have had a tough time getting rid of it. But all is well now and next chapter should either be later this week or early next week. Thanks for being patient and taking the time to read and review. Liz<strong>


	25. Chapter 25

I'm Already Gone

Chapter 25

Bobby Singer stuck his head out the Winchester's current living accommodation and took notice that no nurses were present at their station; right past the Winchester room.

"All's clear" Bobby said stepping back into the room and behind Sam's wheelchair. "We have to hurry so we don't get caught" Bobby said pushing Sam out into the hallway.

"Obviously" Dean muttered sarcastically, "We're going to let ourselves get caught by Mr. Freak of nature."

"I don't need you mouth" Bobby said pushing Sam towards the elevator that was just down the hall. Dean rolled his eyes, he knew the danger they were in. he wasn't stupid after all, and he certainly didn't want to put Sam through any more grief then then he had already been through.

As they made it into the elevator, they nearly sighed in relief. They had made it this far with no trouble and with a little more luck they would make it out of the hospital without any problems. As the elevator door slid shut, Dean got a glance at a nurse coming towards them in a rather hurried pace. For some reason Dean didn't even like the look of her, even though she had been taking care of Sam during his stay at the hospital.

"Don't look now" Dean hissed "but trouble is on the way." Bobby sighed.

"Shouldn't surprise me, that they know we're gone already" he muttered "you two have the worst luck of anyone I know."

"You're telling me" Sam said "it follows us everywhere we go."

A few minutes later the trio had reached the bottom level and was making their way toward the hospital's exit. They had been vaguely surprised that no one had been waiting for them to exit the elevator.

They managed to reach the exit without trouble but once they reached outside and started for Bobby's car, they realized they hadn't made the clean breakaway they thought they had. They noticed several nurses surrounded Bobby's car. One thing was clear however, they had yet to be spotted.

"They can't all be monsters?" Sam asked recovering from the shock of finding the waiting nurses.

"Wouldn't surprise me if they were" Dean grunted his hand wrapped around his injury; which was really starting to ache now that Dean had been on his feet for several minutes.

"Our luck is bad but surely not that bad" Sam grumbled wishing they wouldn't have to deal with the waiting group at this time. Dean snorted.

"Some things will never change, our luck is one of them. Now for how we are getting out of here may I suggest hotwiring a car?"

"One thing wrong with that, what will happen to my car?" Bobby asked "can't leave it here for the police to find, and can't Rufus take it back to my place. It could very easily be tracked."

"Could blow it up" Dean said smirking at the scowl that quickly lighted Bobby's face.

"Idjit, it may not be pretty but I like that car, gets me from point A to point B, with almost no trouble." Bobby grumbled even as he was looking for a car, that wouldn't be too noticeable, out on the highway.

"I don't see how you like that rusted piece of junk but whatever floats your ship" Dean muttered, looking around the parking garage for an inconspicuous ride.

Bobby and Dean both spotted a gray rust bucket of a car that seemed like it was on its last leg. Looking over at Dean, Bobby nodded towards it. Dean nodded back. It was way past time to get out of there. He was starting to feel weird, like maybe he was starting to come down with the flu. Surely, it couldn't be an infection already; Dean hadn't been on his feet that long. Whatever the reason, Dean had to get Sam out of there, and make sure he was safe and sound before he done any worrying about himself.

Bobby started pushing the silent Sam away from the concrete barrier that had hidden them for the past few minutes, towards the car. As they strolled as fast as they could without looking too suspicious, Bobby noticed the way Dean was starting to stumble around.

"You okay?" Bobby asked low enough to where Sam couldn't hear him, once they had reached their destination and Dean was messing with the car locks.

"Just dandy" he muttered back "just sore from moving around so much I guess."

"You're not looking very well" Bobby commented as Dean hurriedly tried to get the door open. He really didn't like how pale Dean was.

"You worry too much" Dean muttered as he finally got the doors open. Reaching inside he unlocked the passenger seat. He helped Bobby get Sam seated in the backseat, then stashed the wheelchair beside him. When he was finished, Dean was nearly bent in half gasping in pain. Whatever was going on with him wasn't good.

Feeling a hand on his back, Dean nearly jumped out of his skin, he reached for the knife he kept in his boot.

"Settle down, boy" Bobby said "just seeing if you're okay."

"I told you I was fine" Dean said standing up, but still feeling like he was a stone's throw away from hurling everywhere.

"Bull," Bobby commented and shoved Dean towards the passenger seat.

"I was going to drive" Dean muttered.

"Not in your condition you're not" Bobby said "you're as likely to get us all killed."

"Whatever" Dean muttered climbing in and laying his head back against the headrest. He had to admit he was feeling pretty rough. Maybe all he needed was a good snooze, lord knows he didn't get nearly enough rest in the hospital worrying about Sam the whole time.

"What's wrong with Dean?" Sam asked concerned at how pale his brother was, and it was clear from where he was sitting that Dean was sweating pretty heavily something a healthy Dean hardly ever done.

"I think he's possibly getting an infection, won't know until we can get a safe distance away and I can get a good look at him" Bobby replied as he backed the car out of its space and headed towards the exit which was thankfully at the opposite end that the nurses were at.

They were on the road for a few hours when the signal for gas came on. Bobby sighed he didn't want to stop just yet cause he feared someone was tailing them, but they needed gas so they had no choice. Glancing beside him, he noticed Dean was still pale and sweating heavily despite the air conditioning being turned on high. That concerned him, if he had worked up the sweat he should have cooled down by now. That worried Bobby; this is exactly what the boy's didn't need. Looking in the rearview mirror he noticed Sam was also sound asleep which was good for someone in his condition, whom had previously been doing worse than Dean.

Sighing, Bobby pulled off at the next exit, he wasn't sure where he and the boys could go but one thing was for sure they needed to stop soon. He didn't want to think about what would happen to Dean if they did continue on down the road.

"Balls" Bobby muttered "what a fine situation to be placed in." paying for the gas at the pump, they were back on the road in ten minutes.

Finally when the sun started going down Bobby started looking for a hotel. His boys didn't need to get all their rest in the car. It took him another twenty minutes to find one, and then to get checked in. coming back out to the car, Bobby headed for Dean's side, upon opening the door, he heard immediately the harsh sound Dean's breathing was producing.

"I really think Dean needs to go back to the hospital" Sam said worriedly from his place in the backseat.

"No shit" Bobby muttered "Balls"

**Sorry it took so long to get this out, I have had problem after problem lately not to mention ideas for other stories won't haunting me and I am trying to get them down along with getting all my other stories updated. Thanks for being patient and taking the time to review. Liz ( and I do realize it takes longer for an infection to set in, but for the sake of the story and Winchester luck this is how it's going to be done)**


	26. Chapter 26

I'm already gone

Chapter 26

"Well, Balls" Bobby muttered staring at the unconscious Winchester. He was really starting to believe in the Winchester luck theory the boys have been spouting for years. This was exactly what they needed while they were on the run.

"Balls" he mutters again as he looked at the younger Winchester sprawled out in the backseat. "At least he's not so bad anymore; he can probably make it out on his own he tries." Sighing, Bobby took his ball cap off and scratched his head, these boys always brought problems with them, but he wouldn't have it any other way. After all who else could he practically call sons, god, knows he would do anything possible for them, including breaking them out of a hospital, where they both clearly needed to stay.

"One problem at a time" Bobby says leaning over Dean to unbuckle his seatbelt. "You're going to pay for this, no telling what it'll do to my back." Bobby hauled Dean up, and half carried half dragged the limp body into the hotel room. Laying him down on the bed, Bobby checked to make sure Dean's fever wasn't too high before he turned and went to help Sam.

He hoped to hell, the boy's would be able to get out of the current mess they were in. he also hoped they could find John before he was killed, he didn't know what the boys would do if they lost their father. They both loved him in their own, even Sam, who tried to get away from hunting but not necessarily away from his family. It was John and Dean who decided to cut all contact with him. Boy things sure had changed, he never would have thought Dean would have abandoned Sam the way he did. He still couldn't believe Sam had, had terminal brain cancer either, and then when things had gotten rather bad, it had just disappeared. It would seem the Winchesters had a certain amount of good luck to go along with the bad.

Life just had a way of sucking, and lately it's been doing just that with Dean and Sam, but Bobby knew neither man would have it any other way. They seemed to thrive in the midst of trouble, Dean especially. In his own way Bobby wished the boys didn't have to live this kind of lifestyle, god knows how physically damaging it could be. Anyone who knew anything about hunting knew it could very easily destroy you and in Bobby's opinion, it had destroyed John, just not in the physical sense, not yet anyways. Who knows where he was now, he hoped John could keep it together until they got there, unless of course, he was already dead. As much as he had disagreed with how John had raised his boys, Bobby hoped that things would turn out well, Dean and even Sam, as much as he would disagree, still needed John.

Bobby sighed and walked to the car, he immediately sensed that something was wrong. He knew he had left the car door open, because he would be coming straight out to help Sam get in the room. But when he leaned inside the passenger side of the car, Sam wasn't to be found, the only thing that remained in his place was a small pool of blood in the seat. It had been possible Sam had busted his stitches of course, but it didn't explain why Sam wasn't here or in the room.

"Balls" Bobby grumbled he was getting too old for this. He hoped the freak of nature hadn't caught up with them and had taken Sam while he was getting Dean taken care of. He didn't know what else it could have been though, cause, Sam sure as hell wasn't in the room.

"There was only a slight chance he could have gotten out on his own, so where did he go." Stepping back away from the car, he shut the door and just happened to glance down at the ground. There was more blood, and it was leading away from the car towards the wooded area behind the motel.

"Where the hell is he going?" Bobby wondered "or is Sam's own two feet taking him?" Dean was not going to be happy about this. Never was when Sam just up and disappears.

"Those idjits are going to be the death of me" Bobby said as he followed the small trail of blood. He hoped Dean would be okay as long enough for Bobby to find Sam. Bobby followed the trail of blood to the edge of the woods, but that's where he lost it. It was like Sam had either stopped bleeding or he was picked up and taken away. Somebody didn't want him to find Sam.

**I know it's a little shorter than usual but hey at least its an update. Anyways thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz**


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